People are civilized until they feel threatened. Life is nasty brutal and short. If someone wants to make the effort be cheerful I say, GOOD!! I will try to be cheerful back and maybe smile. People being cheerful and nice is a little respite from the everyday morass of ill will I find on the road everyday. It is those little connections that cheer me up and make me more hopeful about life. And I don’t mean using a nice person for your own gain or to get an advantage over them. I mean to be get out of myself and make the effort to be genuinely cheerful back to people. This is the holiday season. Life doesn’t stop and people are stressed and still have problems but the holiday season is like a truce between people. People want to enjoy the holiday season. It only comes once a year. Carolers came to my door last night.I went out for a coke and a drive an hour ago. I came back home and my neighbor, the sweet old lady next door came out and said ‘hi’ and smiled and gave me a little bag. I entered my apartment and looked inside, she had given me a little stuffed animal that was a tree ornament and a Christmas card . It was realy nice. Two years ago I started baking cookies at Christmas time for neighbors, and certain other people. I will do it again this year. Some of my neighbors are not very nice. They do not get cookies!! Maybe a lump of coal. But there’s a few nice people here. And there’s a cute girl that lives in my complex. I think she didn’t like me (she doesn’t know me). But lately I have been saying ‘hi’ to her when I pass her in the hall. And she has been saying ‘hi’ back. Who knows?
ok, Nick, but you are talking about strangers, people you don’t stay with for long. I was not.
I 'm listening to Christmas music on the radio now and I’m ok with it. I don’t mean to spoil anyone’s holiday spirit.
Since I have been feeling a bit better about myself, I have been a bit more social, more polite to others. Not doing huge things, maybe opening a door for someone, saying hello and thank you. Making small talk when being talked to by cashiers. These are small steps that probably go a long way.
Oh, OK. My mistake. I’m listening to Christmas songs too.
Yeah, Wave. I find that happens to me too. There is stigma out there though I rarely encounter it myself. But I think some SMALL part of it is caused by us. Maybe 1% of it.Because when I’M happy and content the world is a wonderful place. And people seem genuinely nice. BUT…when I’m unhappy or discontented the world seems like a dark, dangerous place. I guess my point is that how we view the world starts with us ourselves. I think a large number of us are unhappy ( just like 'normies;) and we show that in our countenance, and other ways. And people react accordingly. It’s not always our fault we are unhappy, we have the disease. Those are good steps by the way. I have to work on those myself.
I’ve spent a lot of my life being negative. I’m trying to be cheerful. I have been trying to get those with a negative attitude away from me. All the negativity does is make me sad, and makes me wish I still drank. I have been saying hello to people. I’ve been trying to make an effort to take a breath, gather my courage and say hello.
It’s amazing how many people are just as scared of me as I am of them. There are just as many people who get shy when I say hi to them. But there are many who have given me a smile as well.
I haven’t been listening to Christmas music. The kid sis has been in Reggae loop since finals. It’s been the longest stint of Bob Marley that I can remember. 
Thanks Nick, I know these are small steps I am taking, but at least they are small steps going forward, not backwards.
Does she think she did OK on her finals? Bob Marley. I saw one of the original 'Wailers" as an opening act for the Rolling Stones. Peter Tosh. My ex-friend told me that Bob Marley died from getting cancer in his toe!! I think I read it somewhere else too. He was playing soccer and got kicked in the foot, injuring his toe. It got infected and eventually turned cancerous and it spread to the rest of his body and he died from it. I guess maybe I should have googled it first but that’s what my friend told me. And he was REALLY, REALLY, into Reggae.
You’re right. Those steps go a long way if you want to be in public. Merry Christmas.
Her Biology and English; she said she feels pretty confident about. She and the other two girls who were feeling harassed by the English teacher had a third party proctor for the final exam.
Her Economics test she thinks she managed to do OK since she finished all the questions and understood the math. The teacher is a very fair and offered a lot of extra credit.
I’m afraid to mention Accounting. She is really nervous about that one. That’s the one that really made her cry. Grades get released this coming Wednesday.
How did you do for your class? Are you registered for next quarter?
… Poor Bob Marley. Toe cancer. Of all the dumb luck.
Thanks, Merry Christmas Nick
Yeah Surprised, I’m scared of most people but people who know me constantly tell me that other people are scared of ME. I never believe them. But I’m 6 foot 215 lbs. You know what. I WANT to scare SOME people. Not kids, not old people, not most women. I want to scare the assholes. The ones who DELIBERATELY intimidate me. Maybe I should just keep walking away. But I want a fighting chance if someone REALLY means me harm. But I don’t need to fight. They used to tell me SOME people go their whole lives without getting into one single fight. AND MOST adults have not been in a physical fight their whole adult life. And you’re right, surprised, I am amazed that sometimes I will have someone walking towards me who has a angry or mad look on their face. And I say ‘hello’ and the angry look disappears and they smile and say ‘hello’ back. That’s what people have to realize. That if you smile and say ‘hello’ to strangers or people you barely know, 9 times out of 10 they will smile back. Really. It’s true. And if you get a few bad responses it doesn’t mean to give up and stop saying ‘hello’ to everybody else. It’s inevitable that you will occasionally get someone who ignores you or doesn’t say ‘hello’ back. That’s OK. It’s probably THEM, not you.
Last week there was a lady who got on the bus last. She was holding a fussy baby. The bus lurched and she almost dropped the baby. So I gave her my seat. She almost cried.
Everyone is surprised by a little bit of kindness lately 
I got a ‘B’. My next class starts January 6th.
That’s when my class’ start as well. I’m still going through with this. Trying to fight the urge to run away.