I think I'm disappearing

For about a week now things have been feeling off and then maybe yesterday or the day before I can’t really keep track of the days I heard on the radio about how mountains are dissolving and the oceans are disappearing, too. But now I’m scared I’m disappearing. Like, maybe that’s what’s going on this whole time and that’s why I can’t walk? Why I can’t feel my legs anymore. Maybe my nerves and muscles are dissolving just like the mountains. Maybe I should call the hospital and ask if this is a thing they’re seeing a lot of? I guess they can’t really tell me that since hipaa regulations. Maybe call the newspaper? See if they know anything else that’s connected?

Have any of you noticed things disappearing or anything? I can’t seem to find much about it so I’m hoping it’s not a big problem yet but then again maybe they’re trying to hide it for some reason? Maybe that’s why the Artemis program is such a big thing now? I don’t know. This is all confusing me.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. I just need you to tell me if I’m gone. Because I feel like everyone is lying to me. But I rescheduled my pdoc appointment from next Friday to tomorrow because I’ve been wrong before. I just really ■■■■■■■ hate how sure I am that this is real.

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You’re still here. Else you couldn’t post your text and I couldn’t reply.

Hope the pdoc can help you.

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No, I mean. I get that I’m here. Most of me anyways. Just not all of what used to be me.

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People change over time if that is what you mean. Some people even become totally different people over time.

No, I mean I think my nerves and muscles and legs are disappearing. Like, maybe that’s why I can’t walk anymore. Can’t feel my feet or legs or whatever. It keeps moving up progressively. Maybe it’s the same as the mountains

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I don’t understand: you can’t walk?

Not since January

Is it weight related?

I would assume it takes millions of years for mountains to disappear. I would also assume there is a medical explanation for why you are in a wheelchair. Things don’t disappear to other dimensions if that is what you are implying.

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No? What do you mean?

Yeah. Where’s is it all going?

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Are your legs having trouble supporting your body?

I think in situations like these it can be helpful to be level headed.

My left leg had lost all function butt my right leg works fine, so sort of

Do you have someone to help you go to the store and pharmacy?

I can drive myself.

It must be difficult.

Yeah. I’m really trying to think of all the logical things that don’t match up but I’m struggling.

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Hope Drs are able to help you.
Do they know whats wrong or not yet?

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I just had the MRI with contrast of my lumbar spine this morning. Should get results posted online by tomorrow evening. Butt not really. Ignoring the feelings of my tissues dissolving and disappearing, I’m strongly suspecting pretty significant lumbar spinal stenosis since that’s what’s going on in my cervical spine

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