Do you ever feel disconnected?

Lately i feel that I’m like a car that’s just drifting along and not in any gear. I feel a bit disconnected. I’m not even worrying about stuff and I’m a worrier.

No med changes or anything recently.

It’s like a mild form of giving up. Or a mild form of not caring.

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I get that feeling of giving up and not worrying, but it never lasts long. Eventually all the worries come back and they’re mad at me for leaving them

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I sometimes feel like my feet don’t even touch the ground as I walk

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I get this kind of feeling. For me, its like I am driving a car that is actually me. I feel disconnected from reality. It happens when I get migraines (or at least that is what I call them right now - still not sure what these things are - there is no pain). But in any case, it is episodic for me. It can last 2-8 hours and sometimes there is something wrong with my vision too. Like letters move (squirm or swim around), or sometimes they move back and forth. It is very annoying. Sometimes when I get this, I stare into space for long periods of time too.

Not sure if it is the same for you. Perhaps they are two different things…

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Definitely derealization.

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I get fed-up and don’t know why I’m doing all this fairly often.
Right now I’m fed-up with my family, and it spills into “what’s the point of all of this?” And when can I just stop? I’m there right now. I just don’t get the point and I would like to stop all of this effort and rest.

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my first reaction to your post everhopeful is that you are depressed maybe.

do something you enjoy maybe.

glad to read today that you feel on the up and up now.

here’s hoping there’s some sunshine in your life now.

judy

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I feel like I’m walking along, in my own little world, and without any reason I can see, I just seem to plunge downwards into hopelessness.
Kind of like when I was standing on that ladder that reached up into my attic, and then suddenly I noticed I was trying to grab the sides of the ladder as we both fell super slow to the ground below.
When I think about all those things that should bother me- used to bother me, but now it don’t even get a reaction out of me anymore, I have to wonder-
is it a good thing?

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I’ve experienced derealization and dissociation, and I’ve also experienced something similar with depression. (Especially that empty feeling you’re talking about) this could be a mix of both, I’m not sure.

I’ve noticed that months are flying by as if they were a week, and it’s as if I’m just programmed to do the bare minimum, like I’m on autopilot or something. I guess I have the same hours a day as everyone else but it feels like I’m experiencing time differently, maybe stuck on fast forward. I’m not sure how to explain.

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Yes, if I focus on my mental faculties and what they are doing bit by bit I go straight away into a zone like that.

Most of the time I am paying attention to the information that my mind tells me, and I’m not paying attention to anything except what those mental faculties are saying. So it’s kind of like watching the road, feeling the undercarriage vibrations/angle & intensity of inertia in the bucket seat, and feeling the pedals, shifter, steering wheel, and the tores contacting the road for texture and grip. So I’m just reading the data, and reacting to it as I experience it in a constant chain reaction without losing focus for even a split second.

But when I want to zone out, I think about everything in subject/predicate form.

Before the subject was the velocity and angle of the car, accel/decel, grip on road textures, engine and transmission power ratios, la la la. Those things were the subjects, and the data I gather from there are the predicates.

But when I zone out I turn all of my 5 senses and the rest of the few dozen mental faculties that compute information into the subjects. Their experiences that they create out of the “combination logic” is now the predicates, and they themselves are the subject. This focus on this allows me to pinpoint the information that is fed into them before they created the experiences.

The once I’ve deduced what the information is that fed those mental faculties that created the mental experiences, then I break those down into universal subject and predicate definitions. At that stage their is no mood coming out, and it has the feeling like total awareness and yet total disconnected in the zone.

In other words I mentally reverse engineer this head. When I do that it’s like I were raging through a race and engines were blasting, tires were stressing, metal and rubber grinding, and watching out for people, objects, schedules, dates…then vooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom…

I’m out of gear now, and I’m just rolling on soft rubber in neutral coasting not watching what’s outside my windows so to speak but watching the faculties in my mind that are producing the experience of vision as they show me what is outside my windows. And don’t forget the information that fed those faculties in the first place as the recreate what is outside the windows. No more power gripping, swaying, cut cut cut rip…just mental faculty and data analysis.

The moods instantly change, and I can directly throttle down every single mood of mine on purpose.

The key to it is knowing how there are many mental faculties including the basic 5 senses (NOT ESP MAGIC HOCUS POCUS NONSENSE :upside_down_face:), knowing how they logically work, how language logically works, how the universe logically works, and ultimately knowing that whatever information I’m gathering from these experiences I’m having was a logical result of information being fed into each one from external senses and/or from internal mental faculties.

The result is that I’m analyzing the information phenomenon itself tediously like a key before it enters a lock, and just that mere attentive awareness of this whooooooole process in regard to everything I’m sensing, feeling, thinking, and my voices which are just mental faculties grouped together in bundles…the information that is the key to all of these individual experiences throws out every single mood in me.

No more mood because I’m watching the key before it goes in the lock and the experience that the key unlocks at the same time, and I’m breaking down that information into subject/predicate universal logic.

It’s like this.

Imagine that there is a big tree, and there are tunnels under the tree roots. As soon as a rabbit named Experience runs out from under there, I know exactly where he came from. I know everything about him to a T because I know exactly where he came from, how he got there, and what he does. Everything.

No matter which experience I’m having whether its voices, moods, etc that’s the rabbits that run out from under the roots. I know how it works under the roots. It works with logic, and I know how logic works, so I can reverse engineer the nature of the rabbits (my individual experiences) to determine the subject/predicate natural logic of the information that ran in under the tree roots in the first place.

Key in lock logic makes every individual experience you have, and each mental faculty is a logic lock so to speak constanlty being fed by information keys unlocking this and that all day long.

As soon as my mental faculties are processing the information about myself consciously becoming aware of this bunny parade gone amok, no more moods. Just data and awareness.

~Throttling the Mental Data & Mental Zoning

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I used to feel disconnected. That is disconnection from the world and I would feel very lonely. I know that it is a symptom of sz. I had that feeling for a long time, that is why I remember it.

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