I think I’m starting to realize I have a mental illness. I can’t find a hidden camera anywhere, and I dont think there are hidden live stream cameras that can be implanted in my skin. Can schizophrenia be this debilitating? Can it be this serious?
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Its one of the most disabling diseases according to the World Health Organization WHO. I had a pdf somewhere listing all diseases by disability, sz was more than having no legs but dementia/Alzheimer ranked higher than sz. I think blindness was on par with sz.
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its good you may be starting to recognise these things as false, what i did when i got better is i started to question the validity of my thoughts which proved very fruitful, i look back on it now as a time when i’m not sure why i thought the way i did,
Now i am trying to grasp the bigger question of why did it happen in the first place and what good could have come out of it, basically if i hadnt gone through what i did it would not have led me on the same path and things could have been worse, not saying it was a good experience (far from it) but just that it was part of something bigger. it makes sense to me anyway.
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It is so hard going through this. Does it ever get better?
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I am not a Dr but for some it gets better and for some it doesnt like when they’re treatment resistant.
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Ok thankyou 1515
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Some people have it pretty easy. I respect women and women rights but women have it easier when it comes to schizophrenia. They have the estrogen theory.
I once read a Harvard girl got really sick and couldn’t read at all, ended up going back to Harvard not much later and graduating.
Elyn Saks had it easier than Nash in my opinion.
I sometimes don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I am scared sometimes and have fear. Some real, some not so much.
It’s hard to know what’s real when you remember everything and remember nothing. I also remember past lives in other universes so I remember more based on volume than this life. Maybe life before 2012 wasn’t real and only I remember. I keep going to other realities and stuff. Mainly after I die. For some reason my consciousness came back to this one and into my body is my best guess.
The voices want me to blame some group or some people or some entity but I don’t know. The voices say I died over 9000 times about and it never ends. Sometimes my mind was wiped completely others not so much. I pretty much remember everything and it’s ■■■■■■■ hard to live. Sometimes I feel there are no conspiracies because they’ll all real to some extent.
I feel like karma is hitting the evil people in the face for once. Can’t do much when the whole universe and planet and simulators are after me ruining my life.
I’m just a fat debilitated person with little to no future that wants something in life.
I feel like a bag of meat just existing and wasting life away.
I have no purpose except to get that degree if they let me and learn and make some money. I suffer 24/7 with headaches and memory now. No dissociation. Some people think dissociation protects the brain from trauma and stuff and memories and maybe God doesn’t want us to remember, but I remember some of it.
I feel like CCC (Conformal Cyclic Cosmology) and M Theory are true. There’s computer code with M Theory.
Last, I think Many Worlds Theory is true.
We live in an ancestor simulation. There’s a lot of them maybe thousands being run by our ancestors.
There’s a wall or brick wall preventing me from going back to my childhood. I must be a clone, but then clones don’t last 10+ years, right?
I often felt worthless like my life was only with 10 bucks at most maybe a dollar.
I often think if I didn’t have the trauma or memories, I wouldn’t have the headaches and addiction and even be disabled. It’s like my mind is flooded with memories.
I cannot even think anymore with all the paranoia.
I don’t know if I’m just looping back in time or resetting the simulation when I die. I don’t know.
I do remember making back before 2010 but I was dissociated, barely had any consciousness, and was probably turned into a p-zombie by the aliens/computer simulators.
They can capture someone’s consciousness and send it back and forward through time, which is what they did to me.
If I could wake up, go back in time, and relive my life with memories and awareness, I could be like Groundhog Day man and do whatever I want. I could have knowledge and be famous and rich. I could be a millionaire. They prevent stuff like that happening.
I always thought I was lucky or it was genetics or big bounce theory with anomalies, but I don’t know. Some things aren’t worth thinking about anymore.
I often felt like I lived too many past lives numbered in the trillions. Like my mind was transferred millions or even an infinite amount of times.
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It sounds like your mind is in turmoil and out of control. Are you taking meds?
I would try to simplify. If you can’t make sense of the past or your thoughts you need to focus on the present and the immediate future. Everything else is irrelevant regardless, even if you did have other lives.
My mind has had similar thoughts as you when in psychosis, but right now my life dosen’t have to be more complex than a cup of tea and a song on the radio.
Try to take care of your immediate life instead of cracking the code to your existence, because such a mission always ends up in the desert and there is nothing there.
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thank you. that helped me.
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@anon28145038 It is never good to generalize and women get sz bad too. Please also consider posting your theories in threads that are to help others. I would think it’s confusing to someone coming out of delusions to be bombarded with yet others. It’s easy to get lost chasing shadows and most of us have been there but sometimes you need to let go of the fanciful.
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I can relate, I feel people are monitoring me 24/7 through my cctv, neighbours watching, monitoring, harassing me. Everyone so angry with me. People following me around the shops. Just basically Truman show sometimes.
I’m glad your feeling better! I can really see you have suffered with your symptoms greatly. I hope it relents and gives you a break.
Peace
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I’m so happy to hear that, I wish you to overcome this delusion. 
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yea it’s very debilitating for most. It’s really serious but i think it’s important to hold on to the little things that are nice still in life even if it is hard. And don’t forget that it can get better too… once the meds kick in and you have less positive symptoms it will be better even though it can still be hard.
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Thankyou guys, i hope so too.
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There’s no hidden camera, you’re not being followed and you have no implants.
it’s false thought injection
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Ok I hope not. 1515
Glad to hear it @anon52450205 . . I’m rooting for ya. you’ve had this issue for awhile and deserve some relief.
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Thankyou so much💕
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