I think I will remain single for life

EVERY time I’ve been in a relationship I just felt insecure enough to end it.

I just feel I’m not confident enough

Can’t even enjoy sex

Or kissing

Or hugging

Or anything relationship wise

People say that you just need to work on yourself

But I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that my man would find other woman attractive.

It makes me feel insecure

Especially when that someone is my sister.

It just makes me feel emotionally and psychologically sick

And desperate instead of secure

Does anyone feel the same

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My ex husband was always chasing after my little sister (shes a year and a half younger than me), and it never bothered me in the least bit. Mainly because she loved me so much that she would never look twice at him or so much as give him the time of day.

Today, she’s the one that’s married (for 32 years now), and I’ve never had anything but barely concealed scorn for her husband. He’s never shown any interest in me and for that I am very grateful @LittleMissSlothy .

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I just feel like they’d wish they could be with her instead but got to do with me cos that’s all they can get.

I feel so second best and it makes me stressed

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I’ve pretty much decided to remain single too. I’m afraid I will start to resent of my partner and treat her shabbily. I would carry a lot of baggage into any relationship, and I think it would inevitably make me treat a partner badly.

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It’s good to have a companion,
a friend in life.
But sex, kisses, hugs, are a bit disgusting
to me.

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@LittleMissSlothy , from what I see from your posted photos, you are a very attractive woman. A very pretty face, nice hair, and from the looks of it, a fit body. And your personality seems very congenial. In other words, you got it all! There is absolutely no reason for you to be so insecure. Are you depressed? That’ll do it.

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I try to hide all my flaws in the forum photos :no_mouth:

But thanks for the compliment.

:slight_smile:

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I don’t think like that but the title resonates with me.

Maybe try to find somebody who’s not interested in a married life, like a guy who will join you as a partner not a husband/boyfriend.

Like somebody who dosent feel the need to be togheter with other people, someone anxios, someone like you

I’ve resigned myself to the fact I will probably grow old and die alone.

I signed up for Bumble a few days ago,I bought a 1 month membership so I’m going to give it a shot. The first thing I wrote in my profile is that I have schizophrenia so I don’t have high expectations. I’ve had a little over a dozen women like my profile so there are some open minded women out there. I do feel a little outside my comfort zone having been single for so long. I don’t know if I will be able to handle a relationship but I am gonna give it a shot. Before I developed mental illness I almost always had a gf but this disorder and the meds have changed me, I don’t feel my old fun self.

Also that personality test I posted the other day says I am “Romantically clueless”. I have the worst personalty type for dating. Now I have that in the back of my mind making me double think about even trying to date, lol

Romantically Clueless – Architects’ relentless rationality can lead them to be frustrated by romance. Especially in the early stages of a relationship, they may struggle to understand what’s going on and how to behave. And if their relationships fall apart for reasons they don’t understand, they can become cynical about matters of the heart, even questioning the importance of love and connection.

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You’re not being logical and rational.

I really think this business with your sister is straight up paranoia. Normal well adjusted humans don’t hit on their SO’s siblings. It’s just beyond gross and really only happens on Jerry Springer.

But anybody you are with is still going to be attracted to other people. It’s natural and you should expect it. What you should also expect is for them not to act on that attraction. A decent person has the self control to have sex with just one person.

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Maybe you need to work on your self esteem and learn not to let jealousy overwhelm you.

When you’ve been with a guy you have never ever found someone else attractive, not even in the slightest? I’d find that hard to believe. Nobody is perfect. Different people have different qualities that make them attractive, he may find you beautiful, but someone else more engaging, and someone else smarter, and someone else etc…

It’s normal to be attracted to all kinds of people, you just want to find a person that won’t act on it. The last woman I was dating when I became psychotic was intelligent and very good looking, but that doesn’t mean I thought all other women were ugly and stupid, I didn’t cheat on her even if another girl flirted with me. (she eventually left me because I went nuts, but that’s another story).

Change your perspective. One of my ex-girlfriends was a Hooters waitress, and then she became a stripper. She had guys hitting on her constantly, but I didn’t become insecure or jealous, quite the opposite, all these losers were hitting on her but I was the one taking her home and f*cking her, it made me feel good about myself. I know she found other guys good looking and stuff and she flirted at her jobs, but she was faithful, so I didn’t care.

I remember when I was psychotic and off meds, not only I thought my brothers will steal my gf, but also that my father will steal her, my friends will steal her etc It was plain paranoia. When I got on working meds all these paranoid ideas stopped.

I am not as attractive as I was. I am being pressured to do weight loss surgery now by my own dad and to quit smoking. It makes me feel horrible. Wouldn’t it be nice to be accepted and loved fully for who we are and not what a social normal expectation is or some “pretty” brainwashed model on a magazine…

Being pretty is fun, a short-lived thrill. I could get the surgery and then I wont have any cake and lose weight because I’ll be anemic and vitamin deprived. OH JOY. No…I’ll quit smoking but screw surgery. I dont even want to be pretty like that anymore. I prefer thick big bad and beautiful.

I think I’ll be single for the rest of my life too.

I agree with much of what has been said above, I think you’re a beautiful intelligent woman. Like SkinnyMe said, I think it might be depression affecting you.

I think you need to find a guy who is patient and empathetic. But you also seem to be way too harsh on yourself. We all judge ourselves too harshly

Every couple has your problem in a way. Every couple has the situation where they’re going to find someone more attractive than their mate. It’s acting on it that distinguishes a loyal, honorable, good person with good character from some sleaze ball who will jump in the sack the first opportunity that comes up. Don’t pick a sleaze ball; get to know someone well enough so you know their character and if they have good character than they are going to be faithful.

Every woman has to face the fact sometimes there are going to be women who are more attractive than her. But it’s the type of man she picks that makes the difference. Not every man cheats, I don’t think. A plain looking man who gets a good looking girlfriend has to face the same problem. Go for personality and character, not looks. And if you trust your sister there shouldn’t be a problem.

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I felt like I was never going to meet anyone for a bit a ways back but then I realized there was actually some girls making themselves available. I wish I could have dated somebody when I was younger that would have been a blast. I got into reading some pick up articles and I think the girls wanted dates. I said I wanted to sleep around once in high school and I think my reputation preceded me after that.

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