the days are ok still but the evenings, in front of my tv in my bedroom I get so many intrusive thoughts that I started to jump in my bed, to turn around, it was hell yesterday. I couldn’t stop thinking that ill never get through this illness, I watch the things on the tv and I have one constant thought-’‘you cant do this or that, youll never make it’’. I was suicidal again. the only relief is my rivotril(clonazepam)… did I put myself in all this? I spent years untreated, I was always looking deep down in the abyss for all these years… my mom knows me like that for so many years that she keeps saying to me that ill remain like this :(… I have hate for her in that moments. I was so autistic in the past, I was to a point that I forgot how to speak…
I was really in a bad shape and I don’t trust psychiatrists anymore. they tried on me every single med on the market, really. I lost 5 years in the psychiatry and they were giving me more and more meds… I hope its still soon for the zyprexa. but this jumping in the bed in the evenings is it some kind of a pressure? I was feeling bad even physically, like tensed probably.
I just need to share this, keep going 
How are you just now?
Use your will power to generate more strength to stay positive.
Really, think positive and talk to others.
I was fine in the day. but in the evenings I cant fall asleep, I have the feeling that I will explode… I have thousands of thoughts in my head, they are tourmenting me :(…thanks for asking, I try to stay positive but I am sick as hell,i am tired… is it possible to have more energy because of the ap?
AP’s can cause restless legs syndrome in some people, which can prevent you from sleeping. Large does of benadryl causes restless legs in me, and it’s miserable. If I take too much benadryl, then I feel very drained and want to sleep, but just keep tossing and turning.
Do you worry about breaking our bed jumping on it?
Anyways, I hope you feel better soon!