And IDK why.
I study and work, though leaving my toxic family sometimes seems impossible and a bit too big step.
I fear of relapsing and that my bf could possibly leave me ( he knows about my illness but I never was truly psychotic around him ). So I fear of being totally alone.
Sometimes it feels like I am very childish and incapable of living alone. I don’t know how to properly cook as an example:
I know basic adults things, but don’t know most of home works to do.
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Sometimes learning to master your situation with your family is better than getting away from it.
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What do you mean ?
I mean it sounds like from your other post that your family doesn’t respect you. Be vocal and pursue that respect. Change the nature of the interaction.
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No matter what I say to them, what I ask from them… it doesn’t change. @FreeLunch
And I also cannot forget certain stuff which happened. I was abused during psychosis. Physically I mean.
They even thought I am a demon, not ill. They invited the exorcist (I know it can sound funny) though they are not big believers of God.
I bet they wanted to make me feel worse
In short, I know I would be better alone than with them. But it’s a big step.
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Your still young. A lot can change in your 30s
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You’re right… 
and I also believe it’s a time to start living differently. Make a big steps.
Though like I said I fear it a bit
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When I was planning to move out, I bought a book on how to do that (included were things you need to buy for your first apartment). I wish I could remember the title.
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I don’t like this condition because of this yes. We can live independently but… What if…
Same to medical supplies…
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That’s what I mean…
It’s not possible to know what’s going to happen next 
@Zoe
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But we can try our best to reduce relapse risk. At least I know for me stress of an overwhelming type especially chronic can increase my risk.
I still enjoy living independently but it’s nice to know I have supportive siblings
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Don’t let this disease stop you from living 
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At least try not to, that’s what I do lol. 
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I’ve lived on my own and it was really hard. I was emancipated at 16 and lived alone until age 19, and at 19 I had a roommate for 3 months, and then I lived alone again until I got married at 22. Then when I left my first husband I lived on my own again for a while until I remarried.
Anyway, while living alone after leaving my first husband, my mental health was extremely bad. I didn’t handle it well at all. I’m now afraid to live on my own. I don’t think I can handle it.
I’m pretty sure if something happens to my husband I’ll need to live in a group home.
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You can learn to live alone. You can learn to cook and shop and clean and take care of your money. Like someone said, there’s many books about it. And that’s what living alone is; feeding yourself and keeping your space clean. It’s no big mystery, you can read a book about living independently or ask someone about living independently or sometimes there’s adult ed classes on learning basic life skills. I lived alone in a studio for 6 years, it wasn’t complicated. With the internet there is so much information about everything that if you need to learn how to clean an oven, you can find it. Or how to cook.
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