I find it a little disturbing because you know he is actually a real person on this planet and because you know, psychosis can feel real even though it isn’t necessarily based on truth.
It is messing with my head to be honest
I don’t blame anyone for it not even myself or him. Or anyone.
It just is what it is.
But because of it and such, he has been on my mind more than some ppl.
It is confusing.
But I’m working on detangling my past psychosis stuff.
Can anyone relate with any of this, not necessarily elon musk but with any of it at all?
Or does anyone have any advice of how to Seperate past psychosis from reality?
Honestly I have no idea who he is really so I’ve not got any opinion on him; I’ve never met him. But i just feel like he may have been in some of my psychosis. I realised that recently.
I feel good talking about this because I don’t feel good when there’s too much secrecy in me and since I have no therapist at the moment either.
I think you can have false memories in psychosis. Is that what you mean?
Because the probability of elon musk being involved in your day to day is extremely low.
I think I fear that some of my psychosis is sort of a true possibility in some sense, and I emphasise here the ‘some’; in other words, it is not a full possibility necessarily.
I’m sort of scared and not fully relaxed as a result and it is also connected to other stuff.
But I just need to learn that no, psychosis does not necessarily predict the future to some extent or any extent, If that is truly the case.
I thought the posts i saw on social media were about me. I also though many youtubers and Ryan Reynolds were communicating with me through their videos and ryan through his movie Free Guy. Now i don’t think much if something is about me.
It is not like I am adamant that my past psychosis can predict the future, but I just fear that there may perhaps be some element of truth in it but equally there may not be but there may be but… Etc etc… I just don’t know but I just have this nagging fear at the back of my mind.
I think it´s the meds which work well, thats why sometimes i think i don’t have any illness. Now i only get delusions about god and demons that dont last that much it may sound crazy but i counteract them with telling myself its a delusion, still they are pretty strong and i’m scared after ‘‘snapping’’ out of them.
It is OTHER things that are actually triggering major stress in me. But recently elon musk popped up in my mind as perhaps part of my past psychosis; I don’t really understand the insignificance or significance of his role in my psychosis…just for some clarification there.
And unlike some schizophrenics I do not believe in black magic or that anyone is putting a curse on me.
It is just I’m stressed about the world at the moment and I guess that is triggering my past psychosis memories to resurface.
EDIT:
Additionally…
I don’t know how it could possibly be possible that psychosis can predict the future.
However, I feel like maybe there is some correlation with my past psychosis and the present reality. Maybe because of my stressed state at the moment, it is making my brain search for fearful connections again and that’s all it is…delusion. I’m not sure. Maybe my past psychosis is just giving me paranoid ideas atm because I’m stressed.
Thankyou Ish for your response. I see that other people also had psychosis about people that actually exist or had existed. It is scary but at the same time there’s a comfort that I am not the only one. Does that make me a bad person to think that?
This thread is just a rant. I’m not having any suicidal ideation and I’m coping okay. It is just that I’m a little stressed over the world atm that’s all really. But I do what I can to feel okay. So it is okay.
I am aware that my psychosis memories are resurfacing but I don’t take them too seriously. Since what DOES need to be taken seriously is actually reality.
Ish I hope that you are recovering or have recovered from that experience. Idk maybe it wasn’t even scary in your case.
Schizophrenia in my personal experience just means being a sensitive person who becomes ill due to certain kinds of stress, and having some kind of predisposition to it
I’m not really sure what those certain kinds of stress are precisely, but that is just my theory so far.
No absolutely doesn’t make you a bad person. It helps talking to people who can relate. I still remember those beliefs and find it difficult reflecting on those memories. I get very embarrassed…
