First off first I just want to say I am in no way self diagnosing but I read up on my symptoms I have been experiencing and I think I may have schizophrenia. I really need someone to talk to so I came here…
(Sorry it’s really long but theres not much else out there that I can do)
I have been experiencing my symptoms for around 7-8 months and they have progressively gotten worse.
It all started when I started sort of being able to predict the future, I started getting a really weird feeling and soon after something bad would happen (well my life is just shitty so that might not mean anything) I also started having maybe 3 visual hallucinations over the span of a month. Then I went through a traumatic experience and I was in a shelter for 2 weeks and I started seeing shadows walking down the halls. A month or two later I started having auditory hallucinations which started on September 25, I heard a man who would call me names, tell me not to tell anyone and who was over all very controlling. I considered him a friend so I did what he wanted by not telling anyone, on September 29 I finally got mad at him and told him I was going to tell someone about everything and he screamed and yelled at me. I haven’t heard from him since. I still experience a lot of visual and auditory hallucinations 20+ a day. I also feel as if I can predict when something bad is going to happen in my near future, I can be happy and talking to a family member one second and then the next I’m convinced that they hate me and they did something wrong and that they are manipulative and that I need to stay away from them. I also feel as if I can’t stay in the same spot and I need to leave and get away. I suffer from insomnia but only because my voices tell me to stay awake as something bad will happen If I don’t. I used to love to read and it was my one happy place in life but now I can’t do that because I can’t focus on anything, I’ll try to read something or do schoolwork but I just see parts of the page blank even though I know there are supposed to be words in those blank spots. I have trouble with experiencing emotions and I can go hours on end “zoning out” (not thinking or doing anything)
I’m having lot of trouble doing school since I can’t concentrate and I’m homeschooled so I don’t get a lot of help!!
My symptoms are getting worse, I have only told 2 people and one of those people ignored me after I told them and have only offered up lame excuses to why she won’t talk to me. I talked to a councillor of mine (I don’t see her anymore) and I made it seem I had a different disorder so she could suggest to my mom that I need to see a physiatrist. I lied to that councillor every month yet I feel no remorse for it. I don’t feel comfortable telling anyone about since I feel that none of them can help me.
What do you think? I haven’t done any kind of drug. I just find it weird since I am female and under the age of 18 yet I experience this.
I am not close with my family and I have no friends since my friend dumped me when I told her so I have no one that I can tell.