I owe the mods a ‘debt of gratitude’ and certainly not... what I dished out

Thank you so much mods for your sacrifices of time and energy. I read some of the front page on my time off, and was humbled for one thing.

I’m not sure how plain coffee or even coffee intoxication could have made me so angry but I will bring it up in therapy.

In real life too I told my mom about my suspension… I had to since I was visibly processing it all.

Going forward I will try and listen more and talk less.

I won’t tag everyone I hurt unless guided to do so. But I’m sorry to @Leaf, @Ninjastar, and @anon4362788, and @everhopeful for one thing. And the entire board to an extent as well.

Thanks for taking me back.
And warm regards to all.

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Hey, everyone makes mistakes. We don’t hold a grudge around here. I’m glad to see you had a productive time away, and I am glad to have you back.

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Coffee makes me angry too. I limit myself to 2 cups/day.

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Caffiene makes me super anxious now and affects me so bad that I cannot cope with anything. I always feel as if I need to go to the hospital.

And that’s from someone that used to be able to have tons with no real effect. It can happen anytime.

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It’s like any other chemical that has a tendency to make you overdo it.

To me it feels good on the front end and makes me improved, but there’s a longer tail end that makes me almost hateful and the tail end lasts longer.

It’s okay. I’m glad you are back with us.

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Yep. I know better and still have energy drinks when low energy.

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I recently posted a thread about that, caffeine slightly improves my negative symptoms but it has its side effects like irratibility and anger.

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After some soul searching I realized that something off putting about my ‘personality type’ is that I deliberately share more just so I can receive less just so I can feel resentment (anger).

It happens over time and is not always a conscious type of thing.

Plus saying this might be me being hard on myself a little…

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I’m glad you’re back and sorry the coffee got to you.

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Yes caffeine is that way. I’m trying to quit caffeine. Good luck.:blush:

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I feel like total crap after drinking caffeine. If I can quit nicotine then I can beat caffeine.ugh

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