I am Grace. I am 18 and new to this group. I am not diagnosed, but I wanted a secure place to ask friends who know how I feel dealing with a mental illness. I know I have OCD. I have had it since I was about 7 and it comes and goes in waves, usually with stress. My brain does a few things that I didn’t even realize were abnormal until recently. I will just start with tonight. As normal, I walked by the mannequin we have in our house (for sewing) and smiled at it. I do this because I am afraid if I don’t that she will move. I have found myself genuinely smiling at it now and considering her a friend and I feel like she is trapped. As soon as I look away I think of how weird it is that I thought this because she is just wire and stuffing. Another thing is I am constantly aware and worried that certain people can read my mind and like I don’t feel safe in my own thoughts. It is only with certain people, but I feel like I have to really really control what I think and I am so worried I will accidentally think something bad and they will know. The last two things are hallucinations. When I close my eyes in a dark room I see white light go past my eyes multiple times. I also hear conversations that I can’t quite make out when I am laying in bed. Whenever I tell my parents this, they tell me I am just falling asleep, but it happens well before I feel like I am drifting. I am just laying in silence when it happens. Also, this could just be a habit of mine, but I always talk to myself silently, CONSTANTLY, and I almost always use “You need to do this” or “We did this”. I don’t know why I do this. Please help if you can. I am worried to tell my parents if it is nothing. <3
well thinking that everybody can read ur mind is a classic symptom of psychosis. maybe you should get evaluated by a psychiatrist? maybe show ur parents what uv written here and ask them to take you to see one. it’s certainly not normal. good luck and let us know what happens. even if you don’t see a shrink, you are very welcome here. there’s always someone to talk to. hope you get some help hunni and feel better soon xxx
it helped me to identify the psychosis and break it down in your head by emotion, sensation, “meaning”(kinda like what you interperet/feel something means despite whst the words or intentions are external) and actual words themself.
you might be looking at the maniquen and feel a sensation in your head maybe the emotion of guilt when you see her, then you “feel” as if that sensation of guilt was because shes trapped but its possible thats just the first thing to come to mind because when we feel strange emotions that coincidenally align with an event we might try to find meaning in them.
you just probably felt guilty but its not for any particular reason
Thank you for the support. I might talky to my parents. I’m just really worried that they will think I’m crazy but they most likely will if I tell them these things.
Thanks. It might help to break it down and think of the mannequin as an emotion. Thank you for the support.
Welcome to the forum!
I agree with Jayne–speak with your parents about this. Ask them to take you to a doctor to get evaluated. I hope things get better for you soon
Thanks for replying and for the advice <3 I am just really scared to in case it’s nothing, but also in case it’s something. Does that make sense?
When I was unsure what to do when I had my break, I called a hotline first and told them everything. He advised me to eat a sandwich and then talk to my mother. I don’t remember why he told me to eat a sandwich, I might have stopped eating or something which is unusual for me. I just remember Lena in my head telling me to get off the phone with him and so i told him what she said and he told me that I needed help. So what I did was, I sat in the bathroom with the sliding door closed and my mom was on the other side kind of like Catholic Confession style and I told her everything. We went to the E.R a few days later.