I need advice

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1

I can’t think straight and idk if anyone I know can help me with this since it’s Sunday

Last night I had a very bad episode of catatonia. I don’t want to go into detail but it was definitely the malignant kind. It was traumatic. Then after I came out of it hours later I texted my mom and she completely blew me off again and I got mad and told her in detail what happened and begged her to care and she literally told me to have a good life and she was moving on without me. I showed my partner the conversation, he agrees it was a huge narcissistic move and she was being severely cold. I had the worst breakdown I’ve had in front of anyone, I’m glad my boyfriend was here because I don’t know if I would have survived that alone.

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I can’t think. I am unraveling worst than I ever have.

3

Need some sort of emotional touchstone. I can understand how depressing it is that your mother isn’t there for you, but maybe you have to recognize that she just isn’t, and move on.
It sounds like that you also have serious problems right now, Psychotherapeutic ones. Can you talk to a doctor and a therapist?
I’m glad your bf is there for you
Hope you feel better soon froge

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4

Im going to try. I have tried very hard. I blocked her number

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5

It’s sad but it may be necessary

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6

I hate to sound lke a broken record, so this is the last time I’ll say it :

Get on a therapeutic dose of meds.

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7

I am, I am on latuda and cymbalta

8

Can this be med related? I’ve had catatonia off meds too but not this bad

9

Are you on a therapeutic dose of them ?

This is news to me…

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We are ramping up the doses. I am now on enough latuda but not cymbalta. See my Dr soon for that

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11

Haven’t been posting updates, too much going on

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12

hope youre doing okay… is it possible you can talk to a therapist? youve been through a lot lately it seems. it can help to deal with that.

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13

I looked in the mirror and I looked like a ghost. I don’t know who I am. I might be just pale. I don’t know

14

Slept all day and feel a bit better

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15

Do you have support outside your bf, like your band or some friends you can reach out to just to socialize a bit and feel some normalcy? That’s my advice off the top of my head. Don’t isolate probably

16

Yeah in my estimation it’s most likely med and stress related

You purchased a new house and had issues with your partner.

I would try to get some more rest if you can and see if you can get in touch with your pdoc

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Am I delirious? I am absolutely confused

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The past doesn’t feel real. I can barely remember it. I don’t feel real. I don’t know who I am right now. I don’t have boundaries on my skin. I don’t know who to trust. Like I don’t know that I know anyone. Is this a dream or a test ? Why can’t I figure it out?

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19

Do you have a PRN you can take?

When I can’t cope anymore I just take some extra clozapine and sleep things off.

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I think your boyfriend cheating on you fuc*ed up your mind and caused stress and your current symptoms are that reaction to the situation and the stress. It’s no coincidence that you are experiencing all these weird perceptions right after you discovered your boyfriend cheated. And while getting a new home is a positive thing, moving is one of the most stressful life situations you can have. Maybe talk to your doctor about temporarily upping your dose of medication until you get stable again and these stressors are over.