I felt so alive before antipsychotics 
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You mean before psychosis?
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Yeah before psychosis and meds
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I’m so sorry honey, I know it’s a hard situation to be in. I wish there were something I could say to make it better.
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Do you not sometimes feel alive though?
Because although it’s not often, and it’s sporadic, I do sometimes find myself feeling alive. But it may be because I administer modafinil which ‘can’ have the effect of being very wakeful and feeling quite positively.
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Hang in there. Things can get better. I managed to cut my ap dose in half with concent from a doctor, and it has made a world of difference. Also there is always the possibility to make a change to a different drug. As long as I take meds it is never going to be the same as before, but I learned to accept that I have to take meds for the time beeing. But I am feeling that life is worth living.
The main thing is to keep going. Do what you can to get better. Have healthy habits like excersising and eating healthy, avoid things that stresses your brain, take supplements to combat the sideeffect of the drugs.
Hope things get better for you.
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Sometimes I feel ok its just not the same as before meds
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I know what you mean.
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Crazy is my normal, real state. Right now I’m just in a drug-induced coma.
It’s like colorized television when I’m myself…black and white while medicated.
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