And now I am reaping the rewards. I planned to go to an AA meeting today but I slept too long and missed it. Bummer. I was half-asleep and I heard some banging noises. I thought it was my roommate at my bedroom door but it turned out it was the nice lady next door. She was actually knocking on my window! I opened it and she was inviting me to go to the food bank with her on Monday but I told her I had to work. I get along with her.
It was about 10:00 am so I stayed up but I had a loss of confidence so I stood in front of the wall heater getting warm and deciding what my next move would be. I made an instant decision to stay the course on whatever trip I’m on but I wasted an hour and by the time I took a shower and ate breakfast it was 12:00 pm and I didn’t think I could do anything on my “list” so I was kicking myself for wasting my day off and I thought the day was a total loss.
But life is weird and 30 minutes later I got my self together and cleaned the apartment a little. Then I drove to the supermarket hoping I had enough energy to pick up several items and then handle the checkout line. It worked and I made one of my usual inane jokes to the lady ahead of me in line and she laughed. The checker was nice but a little neutral to me which is fine. That’s actually one of my goals which is to have people give me that friendly look and then move on and let me alone. Of course I give friendly looks back.
On the way out there were people collecting donations for a food bank. I gave them a couple dollars and they were really friendly and nice and so was I. But I forgot where I parked my car!! It took about 8 minutes of aimlessly walking around to find it. Some guy loitering in the parking lot asked how I was doing and asked if I could spare a buck to help him and his family. I knew the guy was a scam artist since I can spot the type from experience but I wanted to look cool in front of him so I gave him a buck. Screw it, forget about looking cool, the next liar doesn’t get a penny from me but I’ll be polite.
Got home and the neighbor was smoking pot in our carport. No big deal, I’m friendly to him but I made it clear I do not do any kind of drugs and I do not want anybody to offer me any. We exchanged pleasantries and I got in my house and poured myself a tall one…of eggnog that is folks, lol.
And then my roommate was home so I salvaged the day and borrowed his phone ( I lost mine last week) I made some necessary phone calls and took care of a lot of business and got to cross three more things off of my list. Now is nap time. Today, is exactly how I my days should go. This is what I want. Everything was not perfect, not everything went smoothly, but my symptoms were down, there were no major crises, life did not end or deal me too many cruel blows.
I did about 6 or 7 really cool things today, about twenty lame and inexplicable things and the rest was blase and questionable.
So take that stupid schizophrenia, I win for the umpteenth time!! Man, won’t it ever learn? It keeps throwing me curve balls and I keep knocking them out of the park.
Tomorrow: work. Bleh.
