About 7 years ago I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, I was hearing people talk to me when nobody was around and couldn’t sleep I ended up being hospitalised. I don’t believe it was coming from inside me , I believe it was actual people talking to me somehow, can’t work out how they did it . But I agreed with doctors that I would take treatment because I want to leave hospital and have said I have schizophrenia to people because I wanted to talk about the experience and didn’t want to freak them out by saying I don’t believe I have mental illness. Now I’m worried people are trying to frame me for pretending to be mental ill , I feel like that’s what people who did this to me want , but I only said I had schizophrenia because I needed to talk about an awful experience for me and I didn’t want people be uncomfortable.
Voices are hallucinations, they say lies and nonsense.
Are you on meds?
I feel like a fraud.
ive been told doubting you’re ill can just be a product of the illness itself. who are you worried is accusing you of faking it?
Yeah on aripiprozole injections , but always believed this no matter whether I’m on medication or not . Sometimes I wish it was mental illness cause then nobody would be after me . But then I feel guilty because I can’t imagine what that would be like. But when you say things like that nobody knows how to handle it so that’s why I used to say I have schizophrenia so as not to make people uncomfortable, sorry repeating myself . But now I just feel guilty cause I don’t think I have schizophrenia and I’m wasting my mental health team time, I tried going to the police years after but they could accept it without any evidence
Nearly everyone I know and a lot of people I don’t know .
No one is after you, it is the illness, did you try other meds, what does your pdoc say about your symptoms?
They said to add in some other antipsychotic to see if that helps. But I haven’t tried yet maybe I should but every time I do , I just feel really unwell. I also don’t want to talk about it because I feel like I’m being a fake. Everyone say I just need to accept it but I honestly would if I could believe it. They have suggested going on clozapine but it has to be started in hospital and I’m really worried about the side effect , plus it hasn’t been suggested for while now .
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