I wrote a rap in an Uber once, and I was deemed (in a delusional sense) that I will be followed by all the mafias in the world.
I started doing stupid delusional stuff accordingly to command hallucinations that lead to spree of unlawful activities.
I’m still recovering from this.
I hope you can talk yourself out of these thought.
Perhaps try talking to somebody who you love about your beliefs. And watch there facial expression as you speak of it.
It can help you see what is the truth
Meds are largely ineffective for a lot of people with sz. I have seen estimates at 30%. If they’re treatment resistant and have tried clozapine, they might have to rely on other treatments or coping mechanisms than meds.
What behaviours have you engaged in in your life that are considered acts of terror. My guess is none. Therefore you don’t have a terrorist past that can link you to North Korea.
You ever hear the saying… just because your paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you?
I just wonder about the raps and writings I wrote. I once wrote one thinking I was the angel Gabriel and said “I would be there.” And I threw out a phone in the garbage bin in a restaurant and I walked around this parking lot. I don’t know there’s lots of little things like this that makes me think I was a terrorist. I was on Adderall during those times so it’s hard to remember. I also walked into a river after I left in the middle of the night thinking it would save my mom and I think it did that time. I had my backpack on the whole time with my computer.
I also threatened this man, sort of, who later committed suicide.
I think you mean tourist like tourism. It’s a typomistake.
The things you mentioned and related behaviours may be immature or bad or stupid, but they not a terrorist acts.
You said you “sort of” threatened a man, that may not have been the nicest thing you’ve done but it’s not a terrorist act. I doubt that is why he committed suicide, it’s just an unfortunate coincidence.
Look at the kind of activity real terrorists in the real world engage in, you haven’t done any of that. The western world just fought a 20 year war on terror, and some groups in the US have been labelled domestic terrorists. Nothing you have described is even remotely similar to any of that kind of behaviour. Therefore you are not a terrorist.
I am treatment resistant and have tried clozapine. I’m currently still on clozapine and also on Abilify. So I can attest to this. Although I don’t have delusions anymore I still have a lot of positive symptoms.
I have fears that people are going to shake me down for money. A great big cracker down the street is out to get me. But other than that I’m perfectly okay.
Flowers I’m just wondering are you taking your medication as prescribed or are you missing doses I’m worried about your safety either way you need help @flowers20
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