Good way to look at it
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Thank you so much for this post stillhavehope Iām 23 and had the same issue sense I was 21 itās sooo sad cuz what I believe is happening people say itās not real and that itās not a name for what I have. Iāve had this soul crushing disability or gift for two years and still not used to it. So I stay home play league of legends or Minecraft cuz talking to people doesnāt seem real cuz itās like their just talking to me cuz they feel bad for me. I mean I have dreams too but they seem almost out of reach because I have this. The worse thing is itāll be some people that seem to not be able to hear my thoughts like slower people. But majority of people do. I have no clue what this means or what I did to gain this but I donāt know too many things worse than it.
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I agree. I deal with it daily. Nonstop. I canāt do anything secretive or embarrassing because Iāll think about it and everyone will know. I hate the way I think and having it broadcasted is debilitating. Iām sorry youāre going through this too.
Have you thought about going to the Dr or anything?
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I already have almost a year ago and see a therapist. I take a bunch of meds but none of them seem to do anything besides put me to sleep. The only ones that keep me from thinking is clozapan I think thatās how you spell it but itās pretty much xanax take two a day and most days your good.
I wish I had that. That would help me out so much.
Yea just get Medicare youāll be good. And sign up for disability and social security youāll be fine.
I applied for disability once, they didnāt accept me.
Quite often, when you apply for disability and they deny you, you have to appeal the decision. Many Attorneys specialize in appeals. They donāt take any money unless you win your case. I think more often then not, SSA will deny you the first time around. I was accepted on my first try due to extensive records. It helps to be on meds and seeing a pdoc and therapist regularly. I know you are working on all that. Get on state benefits (Medicaid), then get your meds and your therapy, then apply for disability again. When you apply for Medicaid, apply as a single adult with no income. If they count your great grandparents as your free support, you may get denied. You have to say you live independently as an adult. Say there is 1 (you) in your household, you pay rent (even $50 or $100) and you have no income. They will probably give you food stamps too. If they ask how you pay rent, say you are behind. You could probably apply for cash too. It isnāt much ($197/mo) but you qualify with your illness. They will have their own psychologist evaluate you. Be honest about your symptoms. I think if you get on benefits and can get some meds and therapy, your world will be better.
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I was applying for medicaid and I stopped once they started asking who I was living with and how much money they make. I wouldāve had to get them involved and they have a good retirement. But I didnāt think about just claiming I live alone. Thatās a good idea.
They (the application) ask how many in your household and what your bills are. Just say there is 1 in your household, you pay rent, phone etc. Your income is zero. You will qualify immediately for Medicaid and Food Stamps. The Cash part will be determined when you have your psyche evaluation with their psychologist. At the end of the day, you should be g2g. You can apply online and then you have 2 weeks to go in for your interview at a local office. You can also just go apply in person and knock out the app and the interview in one whack. Apply today and you should have Medicaid within 2 weeks. Research Medicaid Mental health in your area to find a place to go for meds and therapy. BTW: Medicaid pays for everything and you get dental coverage too. Medicare is different. You get that when you have been on disability for 2 years. It pays 80% with no dental coverage. You also get Medicare when your 65.
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Thanks so much for this advice. Seriously. I appreciate it. Iām just nervous about an interview because what if I say something wrong since Iām lying.
Also, I didnāt know they paid for everything. Iāve been desperately needing to get to a Dr to get back on some type of meds. Esp for anxiety. I just got a job and I start in the next few weeks, but still I know how expensive drs can be. Plus the price of meds, Iāve been just thinking Iām going to have to just go without help. But now I know I could be completely covered? Thatās amazing. Iām going to apply online in a few minutes.
And I knew medicaid and medicare is different. I just associated medicare with 65+
The āinterviewā is a formality. They are just dotting Iās and crossing Tās. Itās not a court room. Just some guy or gal doinā paperwork. Give your real address, of course. They do ask for some paperwork at the interview but if you have no income or assets, there isnāt much to show. The worst that could happen is they say no. There are some expensive meds that Medicaid wonāt cover but they cover the vast majority 100%. Most psyche drugs would be covered. I am on Medicaid and Disability. All my meds and appointments (Medical and Dental) have been covered 100%. Iām just not in a position to work right now. Thatās why assistance is there. Good Luck!
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Thank you so much for the help. I appreciate it. If I have any more questions would you mind me asking you? Lol
Of course I donāt mind:) I donāt have all the answers but I have personal experience.
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I am on medicaid and food stamps (SNAP). I do have a part time job online, it helps pay the bills. That and I live with my dad paying little rent.
If you were last who moved to your community like in high school, you may just be in a SICK community. You may be the butt of the very bad joke that runs there. Oh GAWD, some of the college campus are a lunatic asylum of crazy male staff and rich people looking to harm someone plus tons of students who have no clue how to be okay any longer and no clue or right or wrong. Dang. Iām so glad Iām older as I can ignore it all and avoid themā¦I just ignore the weirdo stuff and pay the bill for getting ripped off by college instructors. Had to file for disability supports due to how some of the instructors will act and is straight up horrible sex harassment situation as a rule here.
Do try to get out and just sit in new places if you are in new community and see if it happens there. It is just a very bad delusion you choose to believe and how the voices choose to be noticeable/how (part-time psychotic strangers) choose to harass you. You may completely just have it stop as long as you donāt answer this crap aloud. This is called thought broadcasting by mental care. Some churches use this approach and I call it preach stalking as it hateful way to harass some in the community for āstealingā who ended up on disability check after mental care. I warn against checking out these kind of churches as you sometimes get threatened for leaving and you will be stalked by a lot more people maybe to the point of being unable to work.
Can also try to visit around with family and friends living in different places for a short time and maybe you will be shown a place that is more friendly and laid back for you.
You may also have a stranger come up to you who knows a lot about what you are thinking and can complete some sentences for you. This is frequently a way some try to pick up a date. These people do know a lot about their community and can be a good first marriage choice if they respect people and hold down professional employment. But these people are āconditionalā meaning you will be dumped if voices demand it for some kind of social stress like annoying people at a church you are attending as a couple or too much harassment from your communityā¦These are worth a conversation sometimes just to see if you get āgood onesā or āweirdosā. As a female, you probably either get all goodies or all weirdos so you will know to ignore these later and keep on walking away if these donāt suit your tastes.
Mental care will not give you any coaching on dealing with this. You learn it all from other consumers and normals. Donāt get angry with the mental care or you will be forced into mental hospital at own expense for as long as DR can justifyā¦Dr situation doesnāt meet your needs, try finding new care and cancel next appt.
I have been in areas where I feel wayyy more comfortable than others. It was a huge relief and I remember looking around thinking ānow these people I could work withā.
I have never looked at it that way. You mean like everyone kind of already found their āplaceā in the community and/ or household and Iām just the oddball out?
That would make some sense, thatās kind of how I feel. I feel like my vibe has thrown off otherās or something, idk.
Thanks for the response. !
I have the same thing going on with me but when it gets bad it is intrusive thoughts they read and see. Just wish for peace and quiet. I have people harass me because of these thoughts. Had a period of time when this was really bad. Felt people on tv were talking to and about me They were saying how sick and psychotic i was. Most of the time i was being harassed by them or people in my neighborhood. They called my all these derogatory names and some people wanted to kill me. Just wish for a quiet mind and for people to leave me alone. It is these people who make everything worse.
I also wish for my old thoughts too. Did not suffer from intrusive thoughts. Had simple pure thoughts would give anything to have that back. Maybe give up an arm or a leg. My mind is tired too, when people can hear my thoughts i feel like my head could break. Feel physically sick too.
Hi Stillhavehope,
Even though other people can read my thoughts my family never could. They would tell me if they could. They know i have this problem and they would be very honest and caring.