I feel like this often too. I feel I am a disappointment to my family / loved ones that I cannot celebrate anything including birthdays.
Has your birthday already passed. I believe she is emotional because she loves you and upset because she wishes you to be happy and for a mother, she gave birth to you this day and this day is important to her.
I also see celebrating birthdays as narcissistic - maybe this is not 100% true.
Can’t you celebrate at your own house or your parent’s. We celebrate my birthday at my parents house as I live with them. I love eating cake and maybe getting gifts. Last time my brothers gufted me a 2tb ssd m.2 nvme.
Maybe she feels like she has let you down and is upset FOR you, not upset AT you.
Some people hate celebrating their birthday, its not that weird.
But I could understand if I was a parent I would feel like I did something wrong if my child refused when I was trying to make them feel good about themselves etc.
This is how my partner is. Absolutely no parties, no gifts, and no celebrations.
I was disappointed at first because I saw the day as an opportunity to do something fun or new or exciting. But then I realized we can just make plans to do something fun, new and exciting on any day. And if he’s asking me to not do anything special on one day of the entire year, it’s not hard to respect that.
Then I came around to the same thought process. I don’t want a party or celebrations. I will still accept a gift though, so long as it isn’t too extravagant.