One of them is how to live. The other of them is what to live for.
The first one is easier. I am making progress gradually. The second one is clueless. I still don’t get it why I need to live a life that is so terrible. A life that people used to be important to me want to get rid of for so much. It is so disconnected from my old self and my old life. I wish I could have a choice, to end my life earlier. My papa told mom his big wish is just the opposite of mine. He wants to live longer and extends his life for another ten years. I want euthanasia.
Sorry if this sounds too negative to u.