Moonwalker, I was just going to tell someone about my sz and a very close person, who knows, stopped me. She told me enough people know. It’s such an isolation!
mirzakunic, I am a woman actually, but I am an artist. And as I know Van Gogh was most probably mentally ill and had his brother helping him, I find myself in the same situation
I know how you feel. I live in a big city but my last psychosis lasted for months so I humiliated myself everywhere including in front of the Government…But you know what - ppl are too busy with their lives. Someone I spoke stupid things before mocked at me yesterday “here’s the crazy one”. I felt bad but you know what? It’s bad for them, not for me! So many people suffer mental illness and they don’t go check themselves, at least I had the courage and I take my medication and I feel so much better. There is another thing I can tell you “Act in a way so people don’t believe rumors about you”. You seem fine now, you try to open up yourself and I believe this forum is a safe environment. You know I hated this word “schizophrenia” - it’s so overused. In most horror movies the bad guy is a schizophrenic who stopped his/her pills. But now I am beyond that since I found out that the word comes from Greek and means something like “pain of the soul”.
Give yourself time. I am doing the same. I would also like to disappear somewhere but I will be caring my intrusive memories. Plus people now are confused as they see me react in a different way. They were never my friends on the first place.