I wish I can be totally emotionless. I hate feeling like this all the time. I hate feeling sad and even being happy feels terrible. I just want to be nice to others and have good conscience without feeling emotions from other people doing bad things to me.
As I type this, my mom is saying that I am surviving in the society with what I studied and not because I study hard. Saying I should read. I just want to stop feeling like ■■■■.
I guess I still want to feel alive but I want to stop feeling so down and terrible.
Nothing excites me anymore. My mom wants lively interactions with me but I can rarely give her that because I’m so dead from feeling all those thoughts.
What is to be humanbeing? Its all emotional, if you are struggling feel sadness, pain and sorrow it can change, be proud of that you have emotions even if they are hard. I hope you survive with your struggle i have had also really bad time in my life time.