Do I hate everything? Why would I hate everything? Because I fit into the category psychiatrists call depressed. Nothing is that worthwhile. Unless I’m mistaken. Better to not trust my judgement.
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Hope youre doing okay dude
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You come across as very astute and interesting to me for being interested in literature and music. A shame you’re so alone. Though music seems to be a strength of yours. To entertain with the darkest hour and darkest themes. I think that takes alot of curiosity and a playful spirit so to speak. Maybe you’re denying the pleasures you seek? Music practice takes a lot of energy and imagination I think. Or can be like that. Also you make interesting notes reflecting on your own inner dilemmas that are very keen and thought provoking. Your life is not over. You seem to me to be challenging yourself like taking walks at night and avoiding people as you care about your impact… hope you don’t mind me saying this.
Depression doesn’t necessarily regard anger or hate. They call it realism. But that doesn’t necessarily have to indicate hatred. Might just be a revulsion or retreating away further from idealistic stupidities, when nature reveals her masks. Seems a hard task for sure, knowing what to do then - how to remain or become inspired? Despite the ugliness or horror you may have glimpsed.
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