Anyway, he seemed really serious and/or angry when I told him? Why? I feel like maybe he thinks it was a come on and I was crossing a line and he could lose his license etc. But the simple fact is virgins don’t get the smear in my country. It is against protocol/advice. Furthermore, on other occasions he has quickly glanced at my chest in his office, he has given me the elevator eyes ie. checking head to toe, he has stared from across the room etc. He was being a man or what have you. I’m really confused actually about his behavior. He is a good doctor though.
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I feel like you’re reading too far into this,
He’s a doctor, he needs to know if you need a pap.
Period.
However, I think once you turn 18 its smart to get a pap annually regardless of sexual activity.
Just my opinion.
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What I’m gathering from your string of questions is that you’re attracted to your doctor and you want us to tell you whether we think he’s attracted to you as well, and whether a relationship between you can work because of the difference in your occupations.
Obviously, we can’t tell you if he’s attracted to you or interested in a relationship with you. I feel like you’re trying to convince us (as well as yourself) that he is. But we don’t know him and can’t generalize based on your descriptions of his behavior, all of which is very ephemeral in any case. We also have no idea how he feels about gender roles in a relationship. Different people have different opinions - you can’t generalize based on a sociology textbook.
I can tell you that it’s a violation of professional ethics for a doctor to become romantically involved with a patient. If this is something the two of you are serious about, for the sake of your health and his career, you’ll need to find a new doctor.
My understanding from your other posts on here is that you are unwilling to make the first move. It seems like he has had plenty of opportunity to do this himself if it was something he wanted to do. In any case, it’s out of your hands and dwelling on it won’t do you any good.
If I were you, I would try to stop obsessing over his possible feelings and try to reframe the relationship as a professional one in your mind. If you’re unable to do this and your attraction to him continues to make it difficult for you to be honest with him due to fear about how it may affect his romantic interest in you, then you probably need to find a new doctor anyway.
Just my thoughts on this.
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I’ve had weird/disbelieving reactions from doctors when I told them I was a virgin, also. I didn’t have sex until 24, and no doctor believed me, so they insisted on doing the tests anyways. It upset me at the time, but now I realize they were just doing their job and trying to be thorough.
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