Hi to all 
In fact i think too much without a break. My thoughts are not big ones though, nothing interesting… sometimes i just try to focus, to analyze the information around me. But i do it so hard that for the most of the time it just gives me pain in my head. I almost feel my brain in my head,lol… what is this symptom in ypur opinion? I guess its not good to ruminate so much no? Is it depressive thing?
In the day today i felt a relieve of this pressure in my head, maybe because of the lithium… but this night i felt ragy because of the injustice to have this illness since so much time. Nothing serious but yeap, i still have these mini crisises because alone etc etc…
It sounds like anxiety to me. Are there things you like to do that can take your mind off it? Color? Art? Walking? Movies? Exercise? Cooking? Music?
I almost always feel my brain in my head. It feels like it’s always changing in accordance with my mood and thoughts. It’s not usually pleasant.
When I tried depakote I felt my brain in my head. I told her it felt funny like it was shrinking and I couldn’t think clearly or remember things. She took me off it, it wasn’t the right med for me. But yeah I can understand why there would be bitterness over illness, I get that too, but also know bitterness doesn’t help break the cycle or rut but adds to it. If only you could find a way to break up the rumination, either thru meds or disrupting the negative thoughts with occasional purposely added positive thoughts. I mean if you think about it you are very aware of your self, it’s good. It would be nice if you could do more things each day to add some enjoyment to your day. mini outings, music, books, movies, comfort/healthy food. just small things to start to look forward to things again.
Oh, yes, it should be this. I lived so long like this that I drown myself in this symptom, yeap… Its an obstacle for my social life. But yes, now I cook sometimes, I read books, I listen to music and I watch movies. Its a bad anxiety, that’s for sure, but is it strange that the Zyprexa didn’t relieve this? I count a bit on my lithium now, but the lithium is still new for me. Maybe I cant act socially anymore precisely because of my fears, I dont even talk sometimes because of them…
My AP doesn’t take away my anxiety. I take Buspar for it and that doesn’t cure it, it just lessens it.
Thank you for the answer, Pianogal. I was on klonopin for 6 years, but it wasn’t enough to get me out of the house… I should be a big coward lol… I cry now tbh. My mom touched my heart again. I often talk badly about her here, I am angry to her sometimes but she just read me some poetry now about a girl who nobody didn’t like. I was miserable for so long that even those damn docs dont understand why…
I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time. Have you thought of trying support groups?