Ok, so you’re very highly functioning, married and your wife is pregnant and you have a corporate job. That puts you in the upper 90% of all schizophrenics. You need top of the line doctors, an experienced therapist and an experienced psychiatrist. I have both and am a highly functioning student, im 21 years old. Yeah I tried to kill myself once too, you’re in good company I think most of the people on these forums have tried that.
You need whats called a benzodiazapine or minor tranquilizer for your panic attacks. Its not hard to get them and you actually need them. I am prescribed them to have a higher quality life where I can sit still, not think about all of the negative ■■■■ in my life all at once, and be social and feel normal. I also take an antispsychotic and it works quite well.
You can try breathing in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth while sitting still, its a common thing therapists teach patients with anxiety. While doing it, just focus on your breathing, one two, in and out.
But seriously if you are a professional and make money, wisely spend some of it on the best treatment you can afford. I think sanity is worth money, my parents obviously think so, I have a metric ■■■■ ton on cash invested in my brain. I am the great and infinitely unique Maurice! Mwaahahahahaha
But yeah I am making straight A’s in the university’s honors program studying psychology, my plan is to get into the clinical psychology graduate program and tear it a new one.
Glad to see that you are doing well…rather uncannily well. Are you on an antipsychotic? If not then wow. If so then still, good job at life.