Hey ppl.
I feel this confusion about myself and my life.
Do I trully understand reality? I mean, hell, maybe there are still lots of moments when I am kind of delusional or missinterpret something? Maybe I am hallucinating from time to time while not realising it?
Because some days it feels like I am quite good. Some days it’s different. Most people around me are quite sure I do understand everything what is hapenning, they say I am not psychotic anymore, but how to be sure?
I am on highest dose (6mg) vraylar, and I am hell no sure if it’s meds or simply I am not ill anymore. My pdoc is very positive about my future… though, there are some things in my life which I do not understand. Somedays the same person can seem like a normal person to me, the other day I have this confusion about the person.
As I started working, I started realising that probably I am OK. I realised I am capable of communicating with tons of different people, I learnt that I can and do learn new things, I am also being very cautious and I check sometimes do I see what other people see… (I mean, I try to understand whether I interpret reality normally)
But I still have tons of questions… It’s hard to explain, but I feel so so so lost.
I told the story about my cognitive test numerous times, which showed I still can have “psychotic thoughts” but probably never be fully pscyhotic again (that’s how my pdoc explained that.)
And I am not sure why am I so afraid to turining psychotic again. Probably what I fear the most is the fact, that it’s disconnection from reality. I just want to be sure that I truly understand everything…
Truee
You not alone girl, we are all just going with the flow.
Even the scientists don’t truly know. Lots of theories out there but no way, to really know the ultimate truth behind reality, at least not at the moment, it seems
I am also trying to look at the bigger picture… hell no one is sure what really Sz or psychosis is… Most people say I am totally normal.(well they didn’t saw me during psychosis :D)
My goal now is to stop meds one day: my pdoc says it’s very possible hey what about you? Can you tell me about your life nowadays?
Oooh fun goal. Just be careful not to be tempted to stay off meds for longer than a day or so if you start to get psychotic. Because the longer you are in a psychosis state, the harder it can potentially become to treat…, and also there’s the trauma factor. I hope you manage to get off it for good though!
I’m doing… Normal, lol.
Got a job interview this upcoming Monday again. Hoping this might be the job for me
Won’t see my friend this weekend because I feel a bit antisocial atm.
Lol.
Yea psychosis is weeeeeird. I think ultimately it is disease even though it can sometimes feel so… Designed, and organised, and such.
Ye ye I will be very careful:))
Wish you the best of luck with job interview and yeah these days I feel quite antisocial too. also i feel sick and need to go to job tomorrow:D
In my opinion psychosis is not always illness: it could be a symptom of anything. It shows that smth went terribly wrong
It’s hard to explain, but I feel so so so lost.
Lol.
