I'm so confused

So today in my therapy appointment my mom said that the psychiatrist or psychologist who gave me the inblot test thingy said that I just think I’m hallucinating when I’m really not. And that everything is just essentially made up. How can I be making it up though. How is everything that I’ve been seeing, hearing and thinking not actually happening? I’m so confused. My hallucinations if I can even call them that anymore, are calling me a stupid attention whore for making all this up. Maybe they’re right. Maybe that is all I am is a stupid liar who only wants attention. Anyways am I even allowed to be here since apparently I’m making everything up even though I wasn’t aware I was.

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umm… isnt that the whole thing with schiz your brain goes haywire and makes stuff up?

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But they are saying that I’m not actually hallucinating or anything.

I dont believe it that makes no sense, if you are unintentionally hallucinating by making up hallucinations without knowing… youre hallucinating…

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Zero’s right, @ChildOfFate . That’s a lot of what being sz is all about. The idea here is to stop being destructive by calling yourself stupid and a liar. Instead, take an active and, if possible, an objective interest in this disease we have. Good luck to you, chordy.

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And how would they know? Is there an anti-hallucination test?

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@zero maybe in the scientific/psychiatrist world they don’t consider what I’m experiencing a ‘true’ hallucination.

@chordy I’ll work on either saying positive or neutral things about myself and not listening to the negative ones.

@Csummers I took the something inkblot test. I guess it showed that I have no real thought disorder which is why they are saying I’m making things up.

@ChildOfFate Did the pdoc tell you this directly or is your mom saying that the pdoc said this to her when you weren’t present?

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My mom said that the pdoc told her when I wasn’t there.

I’m kinda wondering how much of that is your mom’s interpretation of what the pdoc said versus what they actually said.

I would recommend that you discuss things directly with your pdoc so that you can hear what their conclusions are and also so you can ask questions. After all, you’re their patient, not your mom.

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Doctor sounds like an idiot.

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Well luckily I’ll be sweeping email to.tomorrow at 1.

…I can’t see when I type because the keyboard thingy on my tablet blocks it and that happened. I dunno what to say other then I meant to say luckily I will be seeing my pdoc tomorrow at 1.

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wow, I am so sorry. how does the inkblot test prove you are making things up? I thought there was no right or wrong answers, talk to your pdoc and see what he or she says,

I took a bunch of tests over two day, a lot of what they told me was bs, they believe in the tests though. A few things were accurate, but the ones that were not I challenged the pdoc on and he had no answers and was stumbling badly trying to answer me when I threw out facts to him.

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Well people with schizophrenia or thought disorders tend to say the same things so they take your results and co.pare them to the results of thousands others to see where you fit. That’s what I was told anyways. I think their reasoning is is that since I didn’t show any thought disorders then I must be making everything up one way or another.

I was told the inkblot test was pretty accurate. I dunno though.

The inkblot test seems pretty useless in telling what illness u have. They all look like butterflies and babies kissing. I don’t see what that has to do with hallucinations.

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what bull ■■■■! not you your doctors. I only show minor thought disorder. but I have memory problems at least that is what the ssi reviewer said my doctor wrote. I don’t think they were suppose to tell me that. I hope they don’t do anything drastic.

I don’t know either @Esm
@cbbrown what’s considered drastic? Cause know while I was in the hospital the doctor I had in their said that my pdoc outside of the hospital might take me off my ability since its usually for people who have an actual thought disorder.

I would like to mention @ChildOfFate, when ppl really have a schizophrenia episode they aren’t capable of continuing school, they are too crazy and have to be hospitalized. Ask anyone on here and they will prolly tell u their first psychotic break made them too crazy to function. Since it doesn’t seem like that has happened to you my hope is that ur shrink was right and u dont have hallucinations. Gl to u, chin up