I feel over the past year ive turned into a bad person. I can even see it in my posts. They aren’t as cheery and nice as they were last year. Whats happening to me? Ive turned bitter and angry. I have the right to be angry but it sucks. And all i can do is wash it away with drugs. I don’t even know why im bitter now but ive changed over this past year for the worst
All i can think about these days is where i can do and sell drugs. It sucks. If this is growing up then i just want to be a kid again
I think that being in touch with your emotions is essential to having a meaningful life. It’s scary, and we don’t want to do it, but when I bought a box (several boxes) of Kleenex and let all of my emotions out and took a hard look at each and every emotion my life changed. And it changed for the better. The drugs are simply a way to avoid taking that hard look.
Hey, you feel pretty bad about it.A lot of people drive that kind of stuff home by being satisfied with feeling that way. I have had my bouts with bitterness, but it always seem to work itself out. I think everybody deals with this kind of stuff from time to time, but it pans itself out eventually. Best to you
Yeah mental illness will do that to the best of us. I’m the same. Though lately I had a dream that highlighted how physically harmless that “evil” side of me was and that it’s more important to focus on understanding it and healing it/working with it. How I’m supposed to do that I have no idea.
You sound like you’re in a depressive episode now. Remember when you’re depressed you can’t really trust your brain anymore than you can when you’re psychotic. It can alter your memories, your view of yourself and of how others view you, your feelings about life, everything. I hope things look up for you soon. Are you on medication? I forget.