I feel like I've been stripped of a part of my identity

So my partner told me today (after a year of choking down my food, apparently, my words, not his) that he doesn’t like my cooking.

I’ve always thought I was a decent cook.

Now I’m second guessing myself on everything. I’ve been feeling down lately anyway, but I’ve taken it to an extreme in my mind, what if I’m not good at ANYTHING??? He simply replied, “then you’ll have to put work into the things you want to be good at,” which sounds fair I guess, but I do feel like I’ve already put some effort in cooking, and I’d I still suck at it what does that mean???

Honestly I already feel like I kinda suck at life in general (partly bc of my mental illness, and beyond that I am often challenged by things that seem to come easily for “most” people) and now I discover that I’m not good at something I thought I did ok.

I’d love to get a saner or more loving perspective on this!

If you like your cooking it’s good. Your opinion counts too. I wouldn’t worry about it.

Tell your significant other to do the cooking then.

My wife can cook but she doesn’t. I do most of the cooking.

She makes a pot of chili occasionally.


Try some 5-star recipes, those are usually good for mass approval. Hard to go wrong with them!

For what you’re in the mood to eat, type in Google “Best (type of dish) recipes” and look for the ones that have a 4 1/2 or higher rating, with more than 5 people voting for it.


This is mostly what I’ve been doing! Apparently I can’t even follow a recipe. :disappointed_relieved:

Okay, that’s just weird then. Are your measurements precise, and the cooking times followed to a T? Could be that the oven is not working properly or something.

Also they have to be the top-tier recipes, 3 1/2 or 4 star recipes just won’t taste that good.

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Well at least you have a partner !

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True. He’s my adventure partner, we moved to MX city together. I don’t know if I would have been brave enough to do something like this on my own.

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If I had a partner, I would feel like I am in heaven.

Maybe he’s just a fussy eater.

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I also feel that I have lost my identity. I know I’m not the same person I used to be.

I definitely can’t be me when I’m hearing voices. I clam up or start to ask really weird questions to distract myself. What part of your identity do you feel you’ve lost?

I feel like I lost my ability to be out going and adventure side. My voices and paranoia keep me from those things. I also lost my confidence.

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I have this (maybe delusional) thought that I can have a life w/o voices. I hope someday you can find your sense of adventure and confidence again. I’m also trying to learn to be me in spite of my illness. It’s definitely a challenge.

I’m kind of picky about my food, but it was never my mother’s fault. I just had unique tastes in food. I like few vegetables. I pick out any pimento or celery in any casserole. I’m pathological in my love for sugar. Talk to your partner, and ask him what kind of food he likes. See if you can adapt to that. Also, they have some cheap and fairly good items in Wal Mart and in the Dollar Tree. You might see how you and him like those.

Thank you for the support. It is a challenge. Good luck to you.

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Try to imagine the taste of all the ingredients in your mouth when you look at recipes. That’s how I find the good ones.
But also tell your partner they can feel free to cook for you or you can take turns making dinner.
I would sincerely ask your partner what they think you’re good at. If they can’t come up with things then they’re not a good partner for you. A good partner sees what bad and good about you and loves you as you are


Thanks a lot. I appreciate your understanding!

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