Schizophrenia.com

I feel like I owe my family so much

I wish I could cure myself of this physical disability so that my family doesn’t have to pour their energy onto caring me. They make sure I don’t fall nor drag my legs. I still do it because I don’t want to fall. I am extremely careful, but I am aching in pain all the time. And my family suffers with me.

I love my family. But my doctor isn’t feeling very hopeful about me, and told me that limiting my diet won’t do much. My mom says things like “if you weren’t sick, we could have done this or that…etc” in a sad voice sometimes and I feel like a huge burden. I know that she just doesn’t want me to be sick, and I totally get that.

We were worried that my dad will get stressed out after work when he sees me, so the rest of the family made a rule for me: that is, not showing my symptoms when he comes home. I don’t know if that’s working though.

My heart is aching so much because I feel responsible for my illness. I want to get better so much, so that I could spare my family the trouble of caregiving. I love them so much, and I know that they are very concerned about me.

I feel like I owe my family so much. I just want them to be ok.

It just hurts me because I feel like I’m hurting them. I don’t know what to do.

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I think many people on this forum feels the same way. That they don’t want to be a burden, or they want to contribute, be able to work etc.

I was supposed to go for kind of a job interview today, but I’m not well mentally so had to cancel. I feel bad about it, I wish it wasn’t so.

I wish we all could get well.

Idk about they asking you not to show symptoms. I mean, not everything can be helped. Try not to feel bad though. I’m sure you would offer help and support if the role was reversed. We just have to keep going and do our best.

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yea i feel like a burden sometimes too… like my parents do everything for me really… but i think they really love you and they want to help you, i doubt that they see you as a burden.

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@lekkerhondje @Mr_Hope
Thank you for your responses. I was going to type a huge response but I’m in extreme fatigue and pain unfortunately, so please bear with me.

I’ll get back to this thread soon :slight_smile: apologies!

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ah take your time @laetitia … it’s ok =)
I hope your pain goes away soon… must suck to be in pain…

Have you tried whey protein isolate? It is really easy to absorb. Might be good if you have muscle wasting.

I tried that. My muscles become stiff, so atrophy is less of a problem. Have you heard of misugaru? It’s a mixture of grains which is similar to whey protein isolate. I like to drink it as a supplementary meal.

@Mr_Hope @lekkerhondje

Ok I’m back!

So basically, my family is not from a European culture so they definitely see disability in a different lens. I have a strong identity on what it means to have a physical disability- sometimes I’m very proud of my resilience, but my parents don’t want me to express my disability. I just don’t want them to suffer while they care for me. I just want them to live a free life and do what they want instead of spending time taking care of me.

My family told me that I’m not a burden but sometimes they say things are contradictory to this statement. I know they don’t mean it, and they’re just saying this because they feel bad.

I just want my family to be happy, and I just think me getting out of their lives will solve this problem.

No. Don’t say things like that. You will make them miserable if you hurt yourself. They will feel that they failed you for the rest of their lives or didn’t give you enough love and care.

And there are literally millions of people that are more or less in the same situation that you are. Just think of all the people going through rough disesases like cancer or they might be in a wheel chair or paralyzed or other things that put them in a position where they rely on other peoples help to live.

First of all it’s not your fault that you are in the situation you are in, second, there is nothing wrong with needing help from others. People help each other every day, long term too. It doesen’t mean that our life is a failure just because we rely on help.

Please try and stay positive and see life from a birds view instead of just your own personal situation. You are not alone in needing help.