I have bad social anxiety. The problem is my brother is getting married this summer and I have to go to the wedding. Its going to be a nightmare. I don’t drink alcohol. I cant (liver problems). But I feel awful about having to go to this wedding. Theres going to be a lot of extended family and cousins there and this is going to make me feel awful. How can I handle this. Have you any advice?
You could be there for the ceremony only and the skip the party. If you talk to your brother about your anxiety, does he understand?
He knows I have social anxiety.
What would he say if you want to skip the party? I have a son with social anxiety. We do that all the time. He stands in the back when we’re on a baptism, wedding, funeral, christmas or any other party. Then he will sit with me or my husband in another room and eat so he doesn’t get anxious among all the ppl.
I might do that actually. Thanks. I might just say Ive come down with some illness the day before the wedding. A bad infectious illness. Would that cover me?
That could work. You could say you have trown up. It’s easier because you don’t sound sick. It’s harder to fake a flue.
Probably saying I have an infectious illness would be a better option because people think throwing up can be recovered from in less than a day. I should just say I have some fever. People cant dispute that as its a high temperature/fever. It also sounds bad as if its a bad illness. And it wouldn’t be detectable by anybody suspecting me of pulling a sickie.
In any case, I wont meet my extended family if I don’t turn up, so I wont have to explain. Yeah I think saying I have a fever is a good idea. Thanks for your input comatose.
when i went to my sister’s wedding i escaped into this library in the manor it was being held in, if there isn’t one take a book and have time out when you are feeling anxiety .
there is a product called ’ rescue remedy ’ it will calm you down and should not interfere with your meds ( though best to check that one out ).
have a plan b and talk to your brother or parents so that you can retreat when you are about to feel anxious.
-You could sit in the very back row of the church to avoid a panic attack
- Take a gravol pill to help you relax
-At the reception party place a wedding gift on the table. Wave to people and tell them you are unable to stay.
ask your doctor for xanax. I take it and it helps me be social. Without it im just uncomfortable in social situations and avoid them like the plague, sticking to my friends only.
Usually at weddings. the focus is on the bride and groom. Sitting in the back sounds like a good idea. I’ve faked illnesses to get out of certain social situations.
I too have faked an illness to get out of some social situations, but I had a feeling that my family saw right through it anyway. It just made them harder to face next time and so on.
I completely understand you’re anxiety about this, but it is your brothers wedding. If it was someone who you never see again, or a holiday gathering or a little cousins violin solo at school, I too would find an easy way to get out of it.
But a once in a life time Brothers first wedding… that could add to even harder feelings later from parents and all involved to pull a sick day for that. It’s your brother, you might tell him that you’ll need sit in the back after the crowd has settled in and you’ll have to skip the reception.
My parents are very loving and supportive of me, but I did NOT get out of my brother Jacob’s or my brother Jack’s wedding. When I tried it, I really upset my parents. That just made my living situation even harder due to their hurt on the issue.
So I didn’t have to stay long, I didn’t have to party after, but I did at least have to make that effort.
It went fine, I could leave when I needed to and showing up made my life easier in the long run because my parents were thankful.
Ask for some help from either a doc for anxiety or if your parents are supportive and understanding, tell them what is going on and ask for help from them as well. They might have an idea that will keep the peace on all sides.
Good luck. I’m rooting for you.
I have also faced the same problem at the time of my brother’s wedding, But ,I directly attended the reception at the Addison of Boca Raton. He has booked the venue in Florida especially for reception and very few guests were invited.