I have SZABT+PTSD. The majority of my time is spent at home and when I visit friends it’s only for a little while. Well, my childhood friend is getting married and she invited me to her bachelorette party. The last time I went to a big party with a bunch of people I panicked and got admitted into St Joseph’s Behavioral Health Center for for 5 days with severe paranoia. My friends at the party thought I just left and called me selfish and rude bc I wasn’t able to answer my calls. I’m afraid this will happen again.
I can’t do it but I don’t want her to think I don’t care. It’s like… I tell everyone about my disorder and how I have really bad anxiety and nobody believes me.
Idk what to do. And the party is from Friday evening to Sunday Morning. I’m guessing at a hotel.
Do what’s best for your mental health. If you feel you’re not up to it, then take the responsibility and don’t go. You tried explaining to her about your disorder and if they don’t believe you, that’s their problem…I’m sorry you’re in this situation. But trust in yourself to make the right choice.
I think it sucks to be put on the spot like that. I know I personally couldn’t do a weekend thing, but maybe do what @everhopeful said and show up and stay for an hour or two. If you don’t think you can do that, the best bet is to tell her as soon as possible that you can’t make it, that way you not going won’t affect any plans that are determined by number of people (like dinner or hotel reservations).
Thanks for the advice. I’m so happy there are understanding people like you all. I’ll let her know I’ll try my best to go. I hope she doesn’t feel slighted. And it is a surprise from someone I don’t know like most bachelorette parties (i’ve only seen on tv).
I’m sorry. Hopefully your friend will understand if you explain it to her. A few of my friends thought I was making it up for attention. I don’t speak to those people anymore. You need supportive friends in your life who understand your limits and respect your boundaries. Maybe if they don’t understand, you can fake getting sick a few hours in.
So I tried to go. She kept switching up the story. Told her soon to be husband I planned the whole thing when really we went with a man her fiance told her to stay away from. His car is sht and they decided to travel from Tampa to Miami in his sht car. It took us 4 hrs to get an hour out on the interstate and 35 mins from my moms house. But I panicked so bad bc the car kept shutting off that I told them to pull to the nearest rest stop. They ended up pulling off on an exit where the car shut off again. Then when it started up again and we got to Mcdonalds I told them I couldnt fkin do it and I’m going home. So long story short $120 cab to my moms and I’m catching public transportation home now. I’m glad my family gave the other $40 for the cab and I stayed the night at my mom’s. I only had $80 on me yesterday.
It’s amazing that you tried. That sounds like a nightmare road trip that even neurotypicals would hate. It was perfectly reasonable to bail. You probably saved yourself from a lousy weekend.
Thanks @cj9556 and @anon84763962 bc the way they were looking at me was as if I’ve gone mad and I was a coward.
Idk. Something about cars breaking down repeatedly and shutting off in the middle lane or on the off ramp of an interstate/highway where the speed limit is 70mph freaks me out. It would have been different if we made it maybe 20-30 miles and it breaks down… That’s bad also but bearable. His car broke down literally every 5-10 minutes. It would shut off unexpectedly (well after the 10th time you knew it was going to shut off again) and take a while to get the engine to run again.
Glad you got home safely as well!