I feel like something inside me is broken. It’s like I know something but can’t find a way to say it. My head hurts but not in a headachey way. I feel like I’m being driven by fear and anxiety but I don’t know what I’m afraid of. I feel self-conscious when I’m around people, my breathing becomes shallow and I get a lump in my thought but I don’t know why. It’s been this way for a long while and I’m so fed up with this. I feel but I don’t know if it’s a feeling, or if I’m just pulling some kind of ■■■■■■■■ out of my head to cover up for something. What am I hiding? Am I hiding anything from myself? It bothers me that I can’t even answer that. I’ve heard that giving up is the first step but I’m giving up and nothing’s changing. What do I do?
None of this makes any sense to me. I felt like I needed to write, but I’m not sure I wrote what I needed to.
The mind cannot be used to study itself, that’s all I’ve got. How else am I supposed to.
It feels like I’ve spent years looking for the right words to say, but I’m no longer sure why I needed to say them in the first place.