I feel bad for depending on another

As for myself, I depend on my parents (mainly my father) retirements, and house to live in. I get a few euros for spending during the month.

I feel bad because I compare myself with other people that got on with their lives, and are now having babies for example. They got jobs I don’t. They got people I don’t. They got a girlfriend I don’t. Even here on the forum I compare with people that go out about their business despite their difficulties and I seem to be stuck.

Back to the main topic. I depend on my parents and I suffer because it’s their house, I got to listen to their ways of doing things and their behaviours and can’t complain much. I can’t even get a pet if I want to. The dialogues are kept to a minimum too. It’s claustrophobic… and I feel bad.

Anyone like this?

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wishing for more independence is no crime, you are a strong person and should take on great things.

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There are things you can do to use your convalescent time well. Make a study of your problem, which is sz. Learn all about yourself. When I was your age, I, too, felt as you do. I did make friends with an elderly couple which I will never forget. They were a source of much interest and value to me when all the people my age were married and having children.

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I made a friend of 85 years old but she lives far away. She’s the mother of a neighbour but the daughter doesn’t know we talk on the phone. We talk on the phone from time to time.

How are you doing now @chordy?

I’m doing ok. I do a lot of reflecting when I don’t know what to do with myself. New activities are still difficult because I still doubt myself. Knowing when to take a chance and when to bow out is still a major concern.

If your DOB is correct on the profile, you’re older than my parents by around 3 to 4 years. I guess it’s a life long learning challenge the illness.

Yes, it is. But you also have some advantages I didn’t have. I just got a computer about 5 years ago. And the meds are much better. I have had time to understand but I need more time to apply what I understand.

If I hadn’t the computer or I’d be doing something with my life already by force of the circumstances or I’d be plain nuts. I only know the meds I’ve known but I don’t like them either way.

I have found that helping with the groceries, around the house, and taking the time to sit nearby my parents when they are resting improves our state of mind.

My parents don’t spend time together. As for doing the chores, if only I had the will power.

Yes, my friend, my case is very similar to yours. I depend on my parents, I am 48 I don´t have a job; Frecuently I compare with people who have things that I don´t have, this is a mistake. However, I am studying in the open university and English. I hope that I can work in the next months.
Tolteca.

How old are you?
I am also partly dependent on my mum and her husband, and i share apartment with my sister, i had to rent my place for tourists cause i was broke. Now im bouncing between my sis and my bf home. Its not a nice feeling i feel you there. But look you won’t get better comparing yourself to others - try to work with what you already have and try to take it as an advantage.
You have a house so if you eventually get a job it will be easier to save the money.
Try not to think about others, its pointless, they are not living your life and you can’t live their life… So ■■■■ that… Try to get some job, even a part time one.

  1. A job, if only I could. Jobless for 7\8 years. Am afraid of people basically.

Where do you live? What about some seasoning jobs or something that includes a physical work …it mostly doesn’t require social skills.
Have you ever tried to work?

Since then no. The last longer job I had was in 2007 doing data entry for a cellphone company here in Portugal. But I’m at quite different stage psychologically nowadays.

Im not in your skin so i can’t tell you what to do…but i certainly know that you will feel better if you try, like try to test your boundaries…and even if it doesn’t change anything you will feel better about yourself, which is the most important after all.

I always felt awful after quitting a job. There goes my motivation - if I had any.

Well man, im out of suggestions :imp:
Have you tried to change your attitude? There are only three ways to deal with the situation ( thats what i learned :blush: )
Solve it
Accept it or
Stay miserable

From what I understand, you are not on meds.

You might be more independent if you were on meds - there is a good chance for this.

There are a lot of medication options available to you

I am on meds! Why would you say that? For comparing? Excuse me for sharing! If sharing means people jumping to conclusions about other peoples treatment plans I am out of here!