Clozapine any more. I also don’t want to see my pdoc. I guess its one or the other
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Why? 
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I sometimes don’t want to take my meds either so I think I know how you feel a little. But I don’t mind seeing my pdoc too much, I mean I get a little anxious but it normally turns out fine.
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I know a similar feeling, @FatMama. It’s tough, sometimes, to just put one foot in front of the other, day after day…
What I’ve learned is that any day, alive, is better than the alternative. Things don’t feel temporary, but they are.
We have chronic illnesses… we’re going to have symptoms, right?
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