It’s so demoralising .
Now when everything is getting back it hurts it really hurts,
What I used to think I am and what I am, who actually am.
I don’t want to lose track of reality.
Last episode took away 2 years with last year being on a place so high I felt I was above the Creator and the Distroyer.
sz really takes away years together with out even me realising it has taken aways my time and morality.
People see me as if there is nothing wrong.
I should Just let them get into my daily …
Some times people think that this is me this is my character.
The real me is lost in transit. I have got the expected charector of the meds.
I think this is getting too serious.
This was a year where Santa was closely monitoring who was good this year. Do you know what I want for christmas this year .
Do you feel like you are losing touch with reality atm
Not now. It’s the realisation that all this while I was a VVIP
You know how it feels like.
When all go on their life making things up like family home vehicles settled down with kids.
Where as I am like I need to save the world. Which is already done.
Why do I want to lie to myself to be special.
I don’t get this logic.
Yea I get you. It’s horrible becoming psychotic. Not only for the experience but how it affects us onwards, trauma, and raised medication.
Yes when the meds go up I realise certain differences.
Which impacts at a higher level.
The person who I thought I was. Is all an illusion.
Which is gone/evoprated in thin air
Oh no, really? Is it that bad. Can’t you lower your dose or maybe it’s too risky.
Sorry to hear that 
Nope I don’t want to lower my dose. I don’t want to slip in to this un realistic life again. It’s something like - doctor has informed to take meds after food but I forget and think have I taken my meds or not.
Taking the meds or not not taking is both challenging. Same way I feel when I come back to reality. Not sure what to choose.
In both ways I am in trouble
You are special. Even on medication
You contribute well on the forum too.
Lol what relationship you find here, me engaging in the forum.
I am right now not contributing am seeking some option or break through ways out of this
You make the forum interesting and have a lot of good points of view.
And you seem happy some of the time which is encouraging
Really? But these days I just drop in and out just for few hours.
Before used to spend day in and out here. I think that’s how I gained differentiating between thoughts.
Trust me bro stay here for some days you will definitely learn something.
I am employed right now only because of you guys.
I didn’t even know this sz was a disability till about 4 years back.
I told my parents they said I am not. But when I took it up to the doctor he said yes and placed me in screening and temporary concluded disabled. I may or may not get better.
Whith that I applied for a job now working.
Else who knows where I could have ended up.
Hey thanks for the support.
Hope you guys are not pulling my leg 
It sounds like you are currently getting insight not psychosis.
You are right @anon89422488 . Thanks God, I am out from that swamps.
Did you used to have a different username?
Not at all. Glad you are recognizing the insight that you now posses. You are in my thoughts.
Yes Dr.A_B_C and later to X_Y_Z
I love your new username and no I’m not pulling your leg. You’re great guy 
