I don't want to be good but being bad hurts

Health and Recovery
1

Hello everyone.
Lately I 've been rejecting for making a bad wish to someone, and that made the other person cruel to me, but the truth is that I am bad and that makes other people bad at me. But I don’t want to be good, I have been through a lot and people have hurt me a million times, why be good then? But being bad really hurts. I really can’t find a solution and I suffer everyday, perhaps that’s why I was overeating and having bad behaviors in the past, etc etc. I really am a victim of myself and others (normies mostly) but if I become good I believe I will be much more of a victim, because it is like I accept their cruelty towards me.

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There is something good about being a little bad and there is something a little bad with being too good. That is the knowledge of good and bad.

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This is a recognised sympthom.

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5

Now,I like being good,have a little bad habits or vices

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What do you mean by that? I know I 'm absolute, with thinking of only two options, good or bad for example, that’s what my doctor says, and that’s what my psychosis is all about, good and bad. But someone told me some things which make you a bad person and I do all of them, for example I wish bad things to happen to many people. So, I talk with proof, I don’t want to write down the other bad things that person mentioned to me and I do.

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I don’t think now that everyone is only good or only bad. I just wish I was treated better and I could be better.

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You can be better…

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Its a sympthom , when a person can not engage fully and robustly with society and with people. It brings them down , it depresses them and they eventually see themselves as going against society , as going against the natural ‘flow’ , purely as a result of their symptoms.

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So, by being bad to others means we are good, that maybe means that we must treat others badly 'cos that’s for their own good and that’s what makes us good people?

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If I think I am bad, I don’t want to be better, maybe because I want to protect myself. That’s why I said I would like to have been treated better, because if I had, I would want to be better, get it?

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Change environment,change people you see than,other new people you meet might treat you better

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No one is good. we all have to try and be good it’s much easier to be a bad person. An un-disciplined person is not good like an alcoholic like I am recovering from being. If all the good people suddenly decided to be bad they would be a lot better at it then the bad people are at being good.

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Thanks, but people will never treat me well because they don’t understand my illness. I can’t hide it, like perhaps you do, because I am delusional, meds don’t work for me, even though I 'm seeing my doctor today and maybe he puts me on Haloperidol, too, which seemed to work for me. But it has a lot of side effects and I think it’s dangerous.

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I see. Thanks for your answers. Maybe it’s easier to become better, (let’s not say good or bad because these are absolutes, and they don’t exist as you say) because other people don’t treat us well because they tend to not being good, so that’s why we tend to be bad too, to protect ourselves. At least that’s what I do.

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Only God is truly good. Evil is real so that we would have a choice, and therefor a free will, otherwise we would all just have to be good whether we liked it or not because we wouldn’t even know any difference as we do in being able to choose from two very real ways of being.

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[quote=“tobornottob12b, post:16, topic:22478”]
Evil is real
[/quote] evil doesn’t exist. Just a lot of damaged people.

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I don’t believe in God, because if God was so good, there would be no bad at all.

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I don’t know if we are damaged people or just evil @Meteor, but I believe there is an evil energy, maybe there is a good one too, but I don’t feel it.

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‘damaged’ Its hard to hear it as I type it. But do I believe that people are inspired by a supernatural force to do evil ? No. I’d only be liying. All the same , its not a word I use often.

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I don’t think evil sees itself as evil as we see it as being for I think it views good as being a force opposed to it’s existence which the nature of said beast (evil) is to destroy all life. where in the good just needs to be delivered from said evil like in putting it back in the box it came out of, so to speak as in the Greek myth about Pandora and the box of troubles she let loose in the world and also related in the parable or story of Adam and Eve who where even warned not to mess with it, but like all curious children we just had to find out for ourselves. In both cases these people were warned of the dangers thereof. It’s like we would never know what hot really was until we get burned for the first time.

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