I don't know why

But I don’t seem to post when I’m crumbling and having a hard time…

probably because I’m too amped up to sit still long enough to type.

Maybe that’s a good thing…

But when I have needed help… thank you all for being here…


I’m sort of ■■■■■■ in the head too. No, that’s like being sort of pregnant. We are both officially ■■■■■■ in the head.

It’s okay we do well and good. I do think we need to just chill as part of our recovery. Don’t confuse recovery from schizophrenia with being like a normal person. We have finite limits, buttons not to be pushed, we have to be careful. We can’t just rush into life and try to be Wall Street bankers. We have enough on our plates with survival. We don’t need to do anything ridiculous.

Notice my “congrats” slogans. I say “respect, big up yourself (means hold yourself high) and keep it real. Keep it real.”

Keeping it real is something that not only people who cannot tell what is real or not need to do. Celebrities and such need to keep it real and not go mad like they often do.

You keep your ■■■■ together better than I do. I lash out and drink and crap when I am losing ground. I used to be very calm and collected, I even had a completely different demeanor and even tone of voice. I was more mature. The psychosis makes me regress to throwing fits.

It is not cool for someone like me to throw a fit. I’m dangerous. I am basically a crazy weapon walking around. Good on you for not losing your ■■■■. Last night I wrote “■■■■ you” with toothpaste on the mirror. I had just had a horrific day.

I thought I should exercise excessively, like every day at my “whack job” level of intensity this week, but I decided to log on here and just go to the gym like normal three times a week. You don’t seem to have a problem with actually doing anything irrational, you just fear your potential for doing something irrational.


Thank you for that…

You’re more independent in the self management.

I have a preservation team behind the scenes helping me cope. From my Doc to my kid sister… I have help getting through my day.

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I know what you mean. I also have a hard time posting when I’m not well. I have done it though and it helps to have support. When I have glitches I start to not trust anyone. So I become paranoid of people’s intentions. Even on this site I feel that way. But I too am grateful for everyone on here. It has really helped to hear about other people’s experiences with this illness. :sunny:

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