Schizophrenia.com

I don't know what to do


#1

What am I supposed to do when I get sick if I can’t even make an appointment? I was put on an on call basis due to inclement weather preventing me from seeing my psychiatrist, and she has canceled on me when I was in the car about to drive there. Like what the heck. I am polite etc. and they do nothing but over analyze me and I had just tried to get back with the therapist right before they put me on call basis. So I didn’t get the chance to make ANY appointments. It feels systematic. I’m getting night terrors and that has gone consistently untreated for some time now although I’ve told them about this. I was also put on Buspar right before they put me on this system where I have to schedule three same day appointments before I can be put in the system called “same day sick” with some pushing on my part. So they aren’t even trying they’re ■■■■■■■ nuts I’m so done.

It is making me question that I am even dealing with adhd or schizoaffective disorder. They also took me off the stimulant medication so I can’t focus much anymore as it seemed to help me. The psychiatrist made me take a drug test last appointment and it showed up positive for weed so she wouldn’t prescribe me vyvanse or anything else but Buspar, which ■■■■■■■ sucked it didn’t help it worsened everything. I got physically ill on it and it made me twitch.

I just want a peaceful night’s sleep. I’m tired of feeling like everything’s missing or that things aren’t being acknowledged and I’m not represented as a patient. I never sleep paralysis until I started taking this medication. Also, I think it’s a sign of temoral epilepsy as I get shocks in my head before it starts and I’m completely conscious of it. My brain just starts shocking itself and it gets worse and worse and worse, then I try to wake myself up but I keep going deeper into it and I am aware of things around me too. So it’s like a mix between sleep paralysis and a night terror because something terrifies me, mostly the shocking because it takes me out of myself and it’s scary. Sometimes these night terrors come with the feeling something else is taking control of me.

I get night terrors of being raped, stabbed, and others with supernatural elements. I am conscious of some “other force” zapping away my energy. It’s sickening and frightening and I hate it and I want it to stop! I’m so angry and upset because I can’t control it and it always happens when I’m feeling happy.


#2

It sounds like your doctor is neglecting you. You obviously need better (and prompt) treatment of your conditions. And she’s not doing that for you.

Is there any way you can change docs? Because what I see now is a scared, ill person. And one that needs help.

If there’s any way you can change docs, I would highly advise.

In the meantime, don’t be afraid to reach out for support. You have lots of people here that care about you. You are NOT alone.

Blessings,

Anthony


#3

I don’t consider myself scared and ill. I’m just tired of the verbal abuse and no matter what I’m just going to keep being told that I’ll never get better. I feel completely alone because no one understands me. I have no time to talk about my personal issues and I feel faulted for trying to reach out for help because it makes me seem weak. I’m applying for jobs and trying to succeed, but I’m tired of the rejections. I’m not sure what this world is hoping for me to become because everywhere I turn it’s like the walls are caving in on me.


#4

Yep. New doc is needed. radmedtech is right. Going back to that woman is a NOPE. Don’t go to someone who doesn’t believe in you. That never turns out well. My last doctor didn’t believe in me. I think my condition was just an idle curiosity of his. I got a new doc and now I’m getting the help I need.
Don’t go to this woman longer than you have to. She is doing you no good.


#5

It’s making me paranoid. Like she has tried to hospitalize me for unnecessary reasons when my only support is my dad and he was in Australia and wasn’t even aware of it. My dad isn’t really paying attention to all this. They tried to get the doctor to approve forcing me into a hospital when I was saying I would go willingly, the psychiatrist said that in my state I wasn’t able to make that decision. She said this TO ME. Then another time, she had me wait with the nurse until my dad got home from work and was trying to get him to take me to the hospital. My dad was kinda confused and we both agreed that I was fine. He knew it was temporary because it was induced by the medication she had been giving me which made me manic. Isn’t that a little bit over the top? I haven’t been in a hospital since I was under the age of eighteen. But it triggers me when someone who I think I can trust is trying to coerce me into extra treatment or administer injections to me. Why the heck would she want to give me injections? I’ve told her 4 times I don’t want them and each appointment I managed to get she kept bringing it up even after I said I wasn’t interested. Because I take my medication as prescribed and have done so for many years.

I take medication because I believe that I have schizoaffective disorder and I need to make sure it doesn’t control my life. They also said I’m not normal so I am not even supposed to drink one beer or two beers. They ignored me and recorded that I abused alcohol. I don’t abuse alcohol! I rarely even drink!! When there are parties I don’t drink or get drunk, I’ll have a couple smirnoffs and be ok. I’m usually the designated driver at any sort of social events that involve drinking.

Abilify helps somewhat but it’s not the medication I hate. I hate the way it’s being used. I don’t think people with serious disabilities should even have to pay for medications. These are life threatening disorders just like cancer. People shouldn’t have to pay to be well. People should be able to have free healthcare and the republicans ■■■■■■ it all up. Now we just have less expensive healthcare with no systematic changes and nothing has gotten better but worse! There need to be checks and balances in healthcare too.


#6

I can understand why you’re feeling paranoid about this doctor. I would be too if my doc tried to have me committed several times.

What injectable med is she wanting to put you on?

Blessings,

Anthony


#7

Abilify injections, which is the medication I already take and is completely unnecessary.


#8

That does seem unnecessary if you’re already med compliant with your Abilify.

How long have you been with this doctor?

Blessings,

Anthony


#9

I’ve been with her for about two and a half years. At first they were really helpful and now it feels like they’re not helping as much. I’m reluctant to switch doctors, but she does make me nervous so I think I’m going to find one whose more rational and understanding.


#10

My first psychiatrist was pretty bad. She often refused to let me try new medications, even though the ones I was on weren’t working for several months.

She also interrogated me about my symptoms as if she didn’t believe me. And she would use a really nasty tone of voice to me. Going to her starting triggering my symptoms even more.

I got so bad that I had to be hospitalized. All from one bad doctor.

So I decided that I HAD to switch. To stay alive and functioning. And that was the best decision I ever made.

My new psych, whom I’ve been seeing for 5 years now, is SO compassionate and understanding. He listens very well. He respects my decisions to try new meds. And he’s very comforting.

There are good and bad doctors out there. You MUST find a good one, for the sake of your mental health.

I know it’s unsettling talking to a new doctor, but it can make a world of difference in your life. I know you will find a good one, like I did, who will treat you with respect and compassion.

Blessings,

Anthony


#11

If I remember right, when I was on abilify my doctor told me to not drink ever.