I’m desperate to see the pdoc and I just phoned outpatients and they said wedn is fully booked and the earliest is the 16th. I’m so upset. I’m in tears. I don’t know who else to phone. My husband is irritating me with business stuff and I can’t cope with him right now. I feel so useless. Alien really wants me to think he’s better off dead but I love hubby. Fuuck maybe I should be the one dead. All I want is relief… Now I have to wait a while damn week to see my pdoc. 
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Can you let your husband know you are having a hard time?
Is there too much pressure on you to hold back and appear and act normal to him?
Do you have a safety plan? Who is on your safety plan to call first if its not your husband?
Can you let your husband help you? Or is that not an option?
For me the more I try to be normal the worse I get around my partner. He needs to know when you are not okay. I understand you don’t want him to know what is going on.
Finally is hospital an option - to check yourself in?
Sorry these seam like clinical questions. I am so sorry you are experiencing this.
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Thanks @Kxev my husband hasn’t got any support from his family, his dad hasn’t checked up on him in two months. None of his family did. And hubby has epilepsy quite bad, gets ten seizures a month. We’re floating in a sea of isolation and I’m desperate for support right now. I’m so glad for this group! And my sister. Waiting to hear from her.
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My sister replied, she didn’t have any advice to give. My husband thinks I should just wait till the 16th so I guess I will just have to hope I can cope. I’ll come on here to vent if it’s ok with you guys.
vent all you want here… we are here for you
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I also have a hard time,
but our appointment is
in two weeks.
I try to stay sane
I believe feeling suicidal is grounds for emergeny treatment. Call back and let them know.
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When you’re thinking about harming yourself and others, you need to be in the hospital. Please go to the ER
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I’m not really suicidal just want to escape . Alien and my life.
Because I’m struggling to cope with it all and have am at the end of my rope and have severe avolition I struggle
It sounds like you are really struggling. And your thought that either your husband or yourself needs to die is concerning. I would consider seeking emergency care and going inpatient temporarily until you can get your meds straight or see the p.doc.
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The problem with my local govt hospital doctors is they like to keep people for long. Some people are lucky and stay in general hospital for a few days but if they decide to send one to the psych hospital they keep one for at least two weeks. I don’t want to stay so long. Last time my husband didn’t cope without me. I’m so tired of his neediness. I wish his family would help. I wish I could cope fine.
Rant/Vent: I can’t ■■■■■■■ BLEED!!! Rant/vent over. Lol that felt good. But no I’m not suicidal.
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