but my ex pdoc and my current stil think that i am paranoid schizo… i saw one doc who was thinking that i am borderline though. but he was astoned to see that i went more deep down in the abyss with the years :/…
can i be a paranoid schizophrenic without hallucinations? my sz friend always claimed that i dont have her issues and that i dont need meds. but my paranoia is strong enough. i am really afraid of the others.
I’ve met some people fighting this illness who don’t have voices or hallucinations…
But they still had the deep paranoia… the delusions… the disorganized thinking… the negative symptoms…
this illness can cross the wire the brain in many different ways.
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ok surpised, i see… my ex pdoc was saying that my schizo is mostly with negative symptoms, it sucks…
In my later 20’s the symptoms became more negative too. Harder to break out of… much more life interrupting.
i have suspisciousness. i dont know if ill get through this. my mother doesnt stand anymore that i complain… she wants me to add one pill of haldol but i had bright colors on haldol,i dont want this anymore 
i feel alone with my negative schizo…
the suspisciousness is probably more a positive symptom. did somebody had this?
it could be due to isolation, people you are around or the wrong meds.
i’ve come out of the abyss but i look like i’m deeper down.
yeah,i ve isolated myself for thirtheen years. there is no another case like mine… its so difficult now,i have hard times even talking… i hope zyprexa wont make mu dumber there is no med that has helped me rollies 
Im not sure if I do or not. I hear people insult me. It could be real or not. If I ask they deny saying anything.
Not sure which would be worse to be bullied like this by everyone or to hallucinate people bullying me. It really sucks, I hate to go out among people.
Hi have you ever had your thyroids and hormones tested. You need to go to a specialist. If you have a thyroid disorder they may find other ways to help. As you say you don’t know what caused it–that you don’t have all the symptoms to meet criteria for clinical diagnosis of schizophrenia right?
Did you know that Lithium prescribed by the FDA is not the good lithium? I have this feeling I should at least recommend you to check out Lithium Orotate at the healthfood store locally. Lithium Orotate is natural lithium sold over the counter and it can help people. I would give it a try for a couple months and see how it goes with the negative and mood symptoms. If you have success that would be awesome and could point to a lack of natural sunlight, Vitamin D and C and a possible hormone thyroid condition which are much more treatable than other genetic disorders that cause psychosis.
Then if you find out there is absolutely nothing wrong with you physically then it might be simply a matter of learning techniques to quiet your mind and relax breathing and Yoga.
I have looked into stuff, like the idea that if both meridians are tuned in better it can help, the flow of communication from both hemispheres of the brain can be disrupted by brain damage, lesions, car accidents etc.
Several possible added solutions: to rule out other factors–get a blood test for genetic inherited illness, get a hormone and thyroid screening for abnormalities, and start taking vitamins D C and check out lithium orotate OTC. In addition to that–research for meridian tuning, or ways to balance the right and left hemispheres of the brain. Its all about symmetry and think of your brain as an instrument that needs tuning once and awhile.
Paranoid thoughts, while these suggestions may remedy better than SSRIS or AP’s, or reduce your need for them-- the most effective way I overcome my paranoid delusions was simply to be my own therapist. If you depend on others to confirm your reality its not always as effective as if you yourself can say no, that’s not true. And I have high insight…
I know how scary delusions and hallucinations can be. Good luck!
I have heard good things about Zyprexa. It really helped my mom when she took medication.
Sorry to hear all of this. If it’s at all possible, maybe you can find another doctor. I know my assigned psychiatrist thinks I am still extremely vulnerable & a threat to society, but the exact opposite is claimed by my psychotherapist.
I remember I spoke earlier about finding a therapist, maybe it’s time you reconsidered that? If not, at least understand that hallucinations are oftentimes the main symptom some of us have with SZ. In my case, it is the main ailment. If you don’t have them, that’s one step up.
Maybe AP’s aren’t for you & you need a mood stabilizer instead. I dunno, but you’re gonna need a professional second opinion to really get things accomplished.
ok,thanks to both. in fact starrynight,my mom doesnt have her thyroid anymore. she is on tiroxine for it(artifical)… so ive checked my thyroid in the past and everything is ok at this level… i take depakine,its okay i suppose-it helps the anger and the crying… dont know mistercollie,my current pdoc wants me really to go better,i ve lost some pdocs in the past,i was really stubborn. now i am desperate and dont have the confidence in doctors still… i have some delusions and paranoia. so thats why they put me on zyprexa i suppose. i am derealizated also and can hardly talk(its the illness).
ok,i continue struggling i suppose.
bye 
That’s fairly common when you’ve been on medication for a long time
i never had hallucinations i think… i make in the negative symptoms mostly
How old is your sz friend? Is she diagnosed, was she ever in hospital or has she ever taken medications?
she has 32 years. she was in hospital several times and in therapy also… her mom is telling that her case is hard… but she seems less lost than me, dont know… but she never closed herself like me for so many time(13 years for me)… she is closing after crisis for 6 months or something like this. she s telling me that meds depress her :/…
p.s. i am worried sarad, ive tried all the aps… its just now that i dont go against them… but 13 years behind 4 walls? i am not sure ill recover :(…
It doesn’t have to mean that zyprexa is not working for you, maybe you need to increase a dose or to wait a little longer.
Maybe you need an antidepressant along with it? I don’t know, what does your doctor say?
I thought you said that you did hang out with your friend…
Anyway, why not try to get in some group therapy, that would be a little step to start socializing.
yes,first i should wait i suppose. kindof month or two. its just 2 weeks that i am on zyprexa.
the question about the ad remains open,yeah,i know…
i see my friends but still at my home… i can hardly talk sometimes,its just painfull for me sorry to bother all of you here, maybe i am on the path of the recovery dont know…but i have so many symptoms though-sz,plus depression plus anxiety
kisses