Flashback to when I first walked in his office. I burst out sobbing. “I dont want to be on Abilify or medications anymore.”
“You have Bipolar. You never had schizophrenia.”
Still crying. Flash forwards: “You have schizophrenia.”
Puts me on anti-depressants because I want to be normal. Anti-depressants cause mania, mood swings, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
Is it even worth it anymore to go to a psychiatrist? Like if I have to take Abilify great but one day I’ll have dementia and be blind so I can’t take it forever. I want a freaking alternative. I am so sick of this.
My emotions are great right now, it’s out of my system. Next time I cry in the psychiatrist’s office? I’m so done. Screw the scientologists. I am disowning this situation. Money, power, fame, success! Money is the anthem to success. No it aint.
In two weeks I’m leaving this forum. And once I have enough money I am driving to California with my cheap car and best friend, maybe Santa Cruz. Or maybe I’ll drive around the country collecting pretty stones and geotagging my life story before the Arcturians return.
Please tell your psychiatrist these feelings. If youre planning on running away i would suggest a hospital stay to get stablized first, because moving is stressful as is and if you can put it off and get stable first and then consider again if you really want to run away.
No I dont plan on running away. I plan on trying to get an improvement in my situation. I do like being here though, my mom is sweet she also suffers from schizophrenia and we get along really well, plus she’s always here to check on me. I just think I worry her too much, I’m 32 and despite loving this nice house, I need to be out on my own. I just dont have financial resources yet.
I think I should also see a new psychiatrist. As soon as its 8:30 I’m gonna call another practice. My psychiatrist wont call me until May 10th. I have tried to call multiple times, left multiple voicemails, don’t even know what pills to take anymore. Threw out the anti-depressant.
