I don't feel good

I haven’t slept good in a week. I’m exhausted. It seems like I’m having a lot of symptoms from this. Just thinking the radio is talking to me, feel scared, intrusive thoughts and having some really deranged thoughts that I want to lead the police on a car chase. It’s a thought that won’t go away. I’ve planned out how I’m going to do it in my head and everything. I might even make them shoot me, but mostly just thoughts that I would surrender. You never know in the heat of the moment though. I’m worried I’m going to slip into psychosis. I don’t want to go back to the hospital because I hate it and I need to learn how to cope outside the hospital. The mantra the chaplain told me helps a bit with the fear. Emmanuel- God is with you. This no sleep thing really really triggers me. It’s ■■■■■■■ awful.

Side note: @ninjastar I was joking about power going to your head. You guys do a good job. It just seems like making me a new user is heavy handed. It’s worse than getting suspended. I don’t private message anybody anyway. This is the only support I have. It’s really making me distraught that I can’t reply to posts or make new posts. I won’t talk about marijuana(it was a joke anyway) or the other thing anymore.

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Dude you will pay for a 1 minute car chase for the rest of your life. Try to get those thoughts out of your head. Think about what your kids would think.

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You don’t have to go to hospital. But if you’re a serious danger to yourself and/or others then you should.

At the very least tell your doctor what you’ve told us.

You need to talk to a professional in real life.

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I can relate to the fear during times like these. It’s awful.

Please tell your doctor how you’re feeling. Maybe he/she can adjust your meds or give you something to help you sleep.

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You doing better @Tyme

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New sleep difficulties are a sign of a possible relapse. When I am getting into a relapse I dread the hospital, for some reason. Within a few days somehow or another I end up getting admitted.
That’s my experience.
The hospital stay and the recovery afterwards are not very welcome, but I don’t know what else can be done when you are getting blatantly psychotic.

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i like what @everhopeful said
my father told me that a bunch of times too.
you don’t have to go to the hospital.
you can do this.
but if you are in danger or a danger to others, going to the hospital would be best.
it’s effing scary!
i know.
but sometimes we can’t do everything.
and that’s ok.
hope you feel better!

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You should probably see a pdoc ASAP @Tyme, sounds like you might need a med adjustment.
Before you end up hospitalized it’s probably best to see someone.
But if you actually think you’re going to try the chase, then please call 911 or go to the hospital.

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A car chase will ruin your piece of mind for quite a while. They will likely put you in jail rather than a mental ward. Seek out help from your pdoc. If you want to avoid a hospital stay, a med adjustment may be your best bet

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Please call 911 or go to an emergency room now or call your pdoc in the am about your wishes to lead a car chase with the police. Please? We don’t want to see you end up in jail for a long time or in real trouble with the law. Please tell your pdoc about all of this.

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I’m not going to do it. Thanks for the concern.

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