Schizophrenia.com

I don't want to go back to the hospital

I’ve been in and out of hospitals since I was 3, sometimes for months at a time, others just for a few weeks. Whenever I got out I would relapse out of all of the things they tried to engrain in me, and I was worse off then I was before the stay. Now my parents are talking about sending me to another psych ward… Bad memories because last time I was in one they had me in a straight jacket. Which just made me act crazier. This time the doctors say they want me to stay for 6 months or more unless a miracle happens. I REALLY do NOT want to go back…

Why do they want you to go back? Care to explain.

They don’t like having to deal with me and how much I “freak out” as they say, they basically want me off of their hands but they won’t even let me move out because they take all of my money except what I need for gas. I don’t get my parents… It sounds more complicated that now that I’m saying it out loud

maybe talk to your parents in a calm conversation about their concerns for you…
and why they are wanting you to go to a psych ward ?
why do the doctors want you to stay for 6 months ?
ask your shrink you see…why ?
if you don’t agree…change shrinks…get another view point.
i have sz and other stuff…and i work hard to look ’ sane ’ around other people…but it is a struggle…sometimes.
explaning that you feel you will make better gains on ’ the outside ’ ,within ’ normal ’ society…is a more positive step for you.
maybe enrolling in a cbt course could help you, if you are not already…has helped me heaps.
know someone cares :heart:
take care :alien:

They want me to go mostly because of how bad I’m getting. Most nights I wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning lunging and screaming uncontrollably and getting insanely paranoid to the point where I can’t take it. And I mean…there’s other stuff but I feel like that’s the most major accurane. And the doctors think it would be good for me I guess. I’ve been in and out of hospitals and such so much they think I need a long term treatment

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sorry that is happening to you…
do you have a good mental health team ?
and is your family part of a support group ?
and why are you waking up so terrified ?
i see hell below my feet , i get operated on by aliens, i see bugs…etc…i have learnt to walk between two realities…and taught myself not to be afraid.
it is hard work being ill…
but we can improve…
and have a good life :heart:
take care :alien:

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It sounds like night terrors.

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They happen during the day sometimes but I’m awake and sorta of feel them coming so I smack myself together or get to a secluded place before it gets uncontrollable…the ones at nights are the only ones my family knows about

Is anyone in your family involved in the occult?

Not the occult. They’re very conservative religious though

Do you trust your family? I personally don’t trust my family and I sure as hell don’t love them.

But you cook them dinner?

Sometimes you have to put on a mask. Everyone has a mask they put on.

SCARY!!! I love my family so much. When I’m not medicated I think my mom is satan though, for real. I also think I’m Jesus so…

Oh gosh I don’t trust my family with anything

I hate my God damn family. I have learned absolutely zero from them about the real world, the real world that I have to deal with every day.

Just be a nice guy and :heart: people. You can do it!!! :smiley:

I prefer hate to love. Hate is the driving force that has kept me from suicide all these years and gotten me through a ■■■■ load of torture.

Love will always win. You just don’t know how love feels…neither do I really. Except when I herd my little nephew say tonight, my brother crys at my dads grave. That touched me, like love, I’m sure.

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But I understand that you schizos don’t care about justice or hate, you are conformists and of yin philosophy. You’re nothing like the TIs.