I don’t want to let my relatives see me

I have a hard time letting myself be seen by my relatives when they visit. I legitimately just want to stay and my room. Maybe it’s some weird sense of shame and fear around them? Distrust. But I don’t know why it’s there. I don’t feel safe around them, but I can’t remember anything they did to harm me. My nervous system has almost always been like this. There are very few people I’m comfortable with, and I hate it.


I really feel for you, but know that you arent alone. I have become the same way, too. I even dread phone calls. My dad and i used to talk everyday, but we’re down to once a month. Mom doesnt try to call me at all, ever, anymore. She knows i wont answer. Im even sometimes annoyed to have my immediate family around, and i hate that. I used to be so extroverted. It’s like i dont know who i am anymore. Im sorry youre going through this, too.

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What if they visited you one by one, instead of coming in a group? Is it the fact that they come as a group that’s causing the problem?

I have felt like that too TBH.
It is probably a mixture of anxiety, shame, paranoia, and also maybe just not having the energy to socialise but not being given a choice.

I would just go and say hello and try and pay attention and polite, and after 20 minutes or so you can leave if you want to. My relatives who would visit my mum never seemed to mind if I wandered off but were happy I greeted them etc.


No, I just feel uncomfortable around them.

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I’m okay around my parents most of the time, it’s worse with aunts, uncles, and cousins.

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Same. I have no contact with anyone but niece nephew and a sister.

My family is so big 20-30 cousins - lots of aunts and uncles.
I’m better since I decided to stop contact and not going to gatherings.

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All my life I’ve had anxiety around people, even family—I’m beginning to think it has always been veering close to paranoia, and was part of my prodromal phase rather than simple anxiety.

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Same. I always felt obligated with family. Yet i never felt like talking. Would find places to hide. Did the same thing with people and work. Even before my first episode at work, I would find rooms or hide in the bathroom to calm down, get away from people.

Now I can decide. Its better, but biggest problem is walking the dogs and seeing people.


I’m so lonely. I’ve told everyone to leave me alone.


Yeah i get especially anxious around family for some reason. Always have. So i avoid them a lot.

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I know the feeling. I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to figure out how to be alone right now. Even though I’ve been relatively isolated my whole life, I still struggle being on my own.

Im so sorry, Jayster. Im scared that this will be me. Im losing so much time. My kids are 15, 19, and 23. My 23 yr old doesnt live with me. I dont want to be left alone, even if i act like it. I dont want people to give up on me.

I’ve done this. It’s self protection as I see it.
Relatives have called and I can’t face them.
It’s probably normal to protect yourself if that makes sense. And yes it’s a lonely place to get to and so hard to get out of.
I love em all still


When I was living with my parents and my siblings used to visit with their families, I remember at first I ran to my room and hid. Then I’d slowly come out. I’d stay on periphery of gathering and do more eavesdropping than actual talking

With my husband’s family I did the same but also went to quiet room when things got too much for me and looked at their books. If the kids were in the room I’d choose another room and I’d talk to myself

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