When I am reminded I have “mommy issues”. It’s not my fault my mom can’t relate to me in a healthy way when I was growing up. I wish I could stop feel guilty.
I grew up under near perfect circumstances.
No abuse, no money issues,
And everyone was very loving.
I still got issues with my mom.
As a result, I can’t talk to my mom like a regular human.
Can’t talk to her about the majority of things going on in my life.
I guess what I’m saying is,
Don’t feel bad, we all got issues with our parents.
Regardless of who they are, what they’ve done or haven’t done or what your childhood was like.
The older I get, watching my peers raise their children, and even watching my own child grow up,
You realize parents have absolutely no idea what they’re doing and are totally winging it.
Some better than others,
Still.
Feeling bad for having these issues is like feeling bad for having 10 fingers.
Most all of us do.
I know that doesn’t solve your issue,
Just wanted you to know you’re in good company.
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I appreciate that. I know it’s so hard raising kids and you’re bound to mess up along the way somehow. It doesn’t help my parents have untreated personality disorders. Or, at least I think so. Also alcohol abuse. I can’t get too close.
That’s 100% fair.
If your parents are struggling with alcohol abuse and treat you poorly,
I don’t see any reason to expect anything positive from them.
I’d keep a distance until they start cleaning themselves up.
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I don’t know if they will. They’re in their mid 50s. I mean things are better than they were ten years ago , so there’s that, but it wasn’t long ago my mom called me 15 times in the middle of the night because I wasn’t answering texts for a few days. She was mad and threatened to take my phone line off
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If that’s the case,
Just keep it polite and superficial.
Don’t talk to them about anything of significance.
They’ll disappoint you.
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For sure. I’ve learned that, as much as it sucks.
I’m just ranting now. Thank you for your replies, I honestly feel better
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I think I would have been a great father if I ever had children, but now I am 64 and that is out of the question. The whole time I was growing up I would watch my parents and think of ways I could improve my interaction with my kids. There was one gigantic issue between me and my dad, though. I trace a lot of my mental illness back to that.
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