I didn't show up for a performance

And I was a key player - they really couldn’t do without me. I did not care. Now, I just feel terrible about remembering it. Why was I so cold and irresponsible? Why don’t I care? Why am a such a disaster?

Because it’s hard to go out when u have schizophrenia. I feel so much better when I am at home. If I have to leave I get really intense anxiety and always talk myself out of going.