Schizophrenia.com

I did it again :s - Online Dating

#1

i signed up for 3 months with pof.com,

i am so dumb and all the women are out of my league

i dont think i am going to meet anyone :frowning:

i know i sound desperate but i dont care

i dont even know if i want to date anymore

#2

why would you say that?

Please give yourself a chance. You have managed two years of college and volunteer work. You have some musical ability and I’ve seen you put in some good wit here on the forum.

So I bet your right in league. Again, please give yours self a chance.

#3

i’m not really good bf material though, i haven’t got a job, i’m diagnosed with one of the worst mental illnesses you can have, i’ve not even got a proper house yet or a driving license.

if i was a girl i wouldn’t even date me lol

#4

You need to be more optimistic! I have had success with craigslist, believe it or not, even though half of the people in its dating section are the scum of the earth. But I found a good female friend after getting replies from people who were arguably more delusional than me. I specified that I was a medicated schizophrenic in remission looking for a female with some sort of psychiatric condition, and I met a highly functioning girl who has bipolar disorder, and now were friends.

I also have met a couple of girls in the psych department who seem interested in me, and they know all about my condition, I’ve talked to them about it. I go into the whole dating/friendship and even the social scene with my diagnosis and status out in the open, and I have made friends who understand my condition who also see that my meds are working very well. If someone can’t accept me for who I am, then they’re not a friend. See what I am getting at?

And not everyone wants to have a dating/romantic relationship. Some people prefer the whole friends with benefits thing, which works really well for me, as dating makes me anxious and I kind of think people are playing their cards when they’re on dates, which I think is phoney (call me Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye). But I’m 20 and I’m also one of those weightlifting guys, so I might not be looking for the same types of relationships as you, LOL

#5

Your working on getting your license. Your working on trying to find a job and please trust me when I say that there are lots and lots of people out of work in the entire world. Down sizing, out sourcing, on and on has taken a toll on the job force.

My sis who is Not Sz has dated some SZ guys knowing full well the ride she was in for. I’ve dated a girl who is not Sz and she knows the ride she’s in for. There are people here who are married. So your SZ doesn’t make you untouchable.

go for friendship first and don’t put so much pressure on yourself to date. In fact, if you maybe say looking for friends, that might help. Girls will feel more at ease. No expectation for romance (ie… sex)

Listen to Holden Caulfield aka Mortimermouse :wink: and give yourself a chance.

#6

Good for you on signing up! Just wanted to add my words of encouragement.

I don’t know you very well but what I have seen I like. I don’t see a dumb person. Not at all. I see someone trying to make a better life for themselves and in my opinion that is something to be applauded.

#7

You’re taking a chance and that’s what matters. I know you’ll do well.

I’m on a dating site and I’ve already met someone in person. He isn’t the one, but I’ll keep looking.

#8

Daydreamer,

You’re being extremely pessimistic and negative.

I think there are a few million people on POF. If you do the simple statistics - 1% of the population has schizophrenia, 2% bipolar, 15% depression…

So - probably something like 30,000 to 300,000 people are on their web site and just like you. Don’t jump to so many negative conclusions - try it and see what happens. What is the benefit of predicting failure when there are lots of reasons why you could meet someone that is interested in you and who you also like.

#9

do you think i should state that i have a serious mental illness on my profile?

i reckon i am predicting failure to prevent me from getting my hopes up, i thought it would be easy to find someone i liked online but its been nearly 2yrs now and i still haven’t had a date.

#10

Did you read this discussion topic - I wouldn’t recommending disclosing a serious mental illness.

#11

daydreamer your lovely! someone would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend
i know how you feel dating is horrible for me when to disclose your illness etc best advice i can give you is rejection isnt death if it doesnt work out with one person try again you deserve a nice girlfriend goodluck and dont give up.

#12

thanks man :sunny:

tbh i havent really got much experience dating as i only really ever had one gf and i’m 31 now, you’d have thought someone my age would have been everywhere, done everything wth countless gf’s but no, not me
i dont really go in to town at night or on the weekend where women are supposed to go, i tries it once but it wasn’t my scene, i don’t know anywhere i could meet someone who isn’t with child or married etc

, i had a msg from a girl today on pof.com before i subscribed but she wasnt my type but she inspired me to subscribe, i thought well if she liked my profile maybe someone else will, she was the first person to msg me for 2 whole years and i think its because i changed my profile, i made myself 2 inches taller (gig deal lol) but apparently its supposed to help and i also used a profile that a college friend had written for me a while ago and i think thats how i got a hit.

i think i’l need to keep my fingers crossed but i’m not holding out any hope, maybe i’ll be pleasantly surprised i guess.

#13

yeah i met my boyfriend of nearly 6 years on POF i sent out a lot of just passing through and thought id say hi i didnt post a picture because i wanted someone who wasnt shallow. as for the dates a date can just be meeting them for a coffee and if you dont like them or dont get on just be like next like interviewing someone.
ask questions about the other person and listen people love talking about themselves lol

#14

what did you say about yourself when you were dating?

#15

For your income you could always say you have a small trust fund from a rich uncle. You can not touch the principle but it gives you enough money to live on. etc.

You wish you could find work to but you are between jobs etc. etc. Your interests are… but can not make it fit anywhere. What are your interests?

Now when the time comes, you can say that your uncle, is Uncle Sam and you are on disability. You do not have a job because of your illness. If the person is with you on the 4th or 5th date they like you for you should be told the truth.

What are some of the other questions that got you on those first couple dates? Prepare for them mentally and think of some question to ask the other person as well. Find out about them too

#16

I’m 34 still single.

#17

SzAdmin is right,
Being pessimistic and negative are two of the biggest turnoff’s in dating.

It’s all about attitude, not how tall you are (giggle…did you really lie about your height?) or whether you have your license (are you driving without one?) or if you have a job…unless the girl is looking for a taxi with a wallet boyfriend.

Work on what it takes to make a girl know she can trust you and you will make her feel safe…that is what will attract one. You can’t gain anyone’s trust if your going to lie.

#18

I remember your very optimistic person and you always mention your on a good medication,is your medication stop working already?

#19

thanks @Csummersx i’m not normally pessimistic really but after signing up with the site i have had a few more messages than before which is great because i was getting nothing before and that was making me lose confidence.

now i’m starting to be a bit more optimistic about it, i just replied to a girl who has no picture lol she said she was 5/9 in height and i love tall women but i just hope she didn’t lie about her height as well. she said she was shy in her message and i replied with ‘dont worry about being shy x i can be patient’ lol it was just a short message but thats all right i guess.

anyway about the driving- i can drive my friends car with supervision and she lets me drive but i have only got a provisional license because i havent sat the tests yet.