I decided I am a useless person!

I went to Walmart this morning and came home to put my stuff in the refrigerator. I laid my keys on top of a baby blanket on my bed. When, I went to leave the house with my mother, I could not find them. Every time, I go look for them, my head and stomach start to hurt again! I have looked everywhere! They seemed to either be stolen by gremlins or just disappeared into thin air. I need to leave my apartment in the next few days and do not want to leave my apartment unlocked! I thought I had extra keys in my billfold; but those are for my mailbox! They have got to be somewhere, don’t they or I have just completely lost what little mind I have left? I mean I did unlock the door and get back into the apartment this morning.


If you can’t find them call out a locksmith to change the locks. But these things always turn up.

If I don’t find them by morning, I’'ll call my apt management and get a new lock and management. I know they do always turn up. Years ago, I came home from work and was very sick and tired. I mistakenly threw my keys into the burner of the old stove in the old house. When, the stove died and they replaced it, they found my keys. We moved from that place years ago. I know they just gotto be somewhere and I just have not found that somewhere yet. I like your name, “everhopeful.”!

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I had =enormous= problems with this sort of thing when my mental noise level was always screeching at 10 on 10. But even on meds and after years of psychotherapy, I still have short-term memory problems. So I did some secondary research. And here’s what I found out:

A lot of folks who’ve been severely depressed, anxious and/or manic suffer from short-term memory difficulties for years after they “get better.” The reason is the widely recognized damage depression, mania and anxiety often do to the hippocampus, especially in the right brain hemisphere.

The hippocampus is the facilitator of explicit memory storage… and retrieval. If the little sucker gets damaged (e.g.: some of the nerve cells expire due to “excitotoxicity” so there are less of them), memory becomes more implicit than explicit. The memories may or may not get stored, but even if they do, they’re harder to retrieve.

There is a way around this stuff when memories are embedded, and even a way to retrieve memories that are "weakly embedded. The former is done with conscious association in the moment of doing whatever it is one wants to remember to make the memory more explicit. The latter is done by meditating to calm the autonomic (“fight or flight”) nervous system, and all the noise it makes.

It’s usually only a fifty-fifty deal for me, but it does work at times, and I will suddenly recall where I left their keys, glasses, book, credit card or whatever. I’ve used meditation several times to find things I misplaced. I don’t try to remember, I just relax, and the memory comes up by itself.

hope you find them @Greykitten

i find that keeping them in the same place all the time is best, i have a little shelf next to my front door that i put them on, funny thing is i always remember my keys but i sometimes froget to take my meds and i have been on meds longer than i’ve had my own house lol

My routine when I loss my keys…Starts with paranoid thoughts someone’s come into the house and stolen them and coming to get me when I sleep. Trying to be rational about it while totally losing my temper and trying to keep that at bay. While a million other thoughts keep popping up.

So I loss the will to even think about them or look for them. Then get the trapped inside feeling because I can’t leave the house without locking up the house. Leading back to the someone’s coming to get me. So I get rational about it and think the only way is to find the keys. Which leads to losing my temper because I can’t find them and trying to hold in check etc etc etc.

So don’t be to hard on yourself it happens to us all.

They will turn up. Most likely just fallen down or you moved them without realizing. To save my sanity I started to keep them on a key-hook So know where they are at all times now.

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I’ve had the same problem. Don’t let it get you down. Now, I live in a place where about all I have to remember is where I put my keys. I take extensive precautions to make sure I don’t lose them. Maybe your keys will turn up. If not, don’t worry about it too much. Just try to be more aware of what you do with your keys.

i carry two sets of keys…one in my pocket ( door keys, car keys :key: etc… ) and duplicate pair in my hand.
that way i can never get locked out…it has worked for 28 years !?!
take care :alien:

Lol story of my life. Doesn’t mean we’re useless, our brains just have a lot more to keep track of than other people’s.

If it makes you feel any better today I fudged up our lab experiment because I put in 6 grams of something when I was supposed to put in .6 :smiley: we all have those days.

Did you look in the fridge, or the trash can in your apartment? Could they have fallen into a grocery bag or you might have laid them down in your car when you went out to get the groceries. Did you even think to check your purse again sometimes we can be looking right at them and not register that because we are upset with other pictures of possible places we more likely misplaced them. I’m really good at finding things. Do you put them on your bed every time you come into your place? If you do you might have just thought you put them down when actually that is why you didn’t notice when they somehow left your hand and ended up like somewhere in the trash can. I wouldn’t throw that trash away without dumping it bit by bit into another trash bag. because once you throw it out you can’t look there. and if they are in the fridge you might have put some new groceries in front or on top of them .

This is the second time this day I have trouble posting a reply on this webpage! I have no idea what is going on. I don’t think I have had much trouble with any other sites. Such is life. I would like to thank everyone for their kind suggestions, ideas, etc. First to Anna, I’m sorry about your lab experiment. I took chemistry in high school and got A’s I tried in college and to drop out. First, to my brain damaged brain, it seemed the instructor was leaving out important clues I should know. This is a problem I did have in other classes. Second, that lab stunk to me and I only like pretty smells like pretty perfume or baby lotion. To, daydreamer and dreamscape, I will work on putting your plans into action as best as I can; but, I have made a decision on this which I will explain in a minute. To notmoses, I truly love what you said and am trying to think of a way I can share what you said with my therapist. I won’t cause your privacy to be at risk. Please be assured; but, it is important. I had never thought of this before; but, it rings so very true! I have excellent memory on some things; but, I am always losing things like keys, papers, books, even cans of food, etc. However, I must admit all that information reminded me of my old psych classes in college!
Finally, this is my plan! I can no longer look for the keys tonight. I risk pulling the plug on my lights and being in the dark. Also, I risk a stomach ache again and last night I had trouble sleeping with a stomach ache. Of course, sleep may not come easy tonight, either. I am having my mother go to the apartment management office. She will pick up the apartment office key to my apartment. I don’t anticipate a problem; but, if there is one I will write them a note to authorize this and she will stop by my place first for the note. This happened to me at Christmas and I had no problems. I will then take that key to the key making place which I can actually walk to from my place. I really believe they are the best in my state! I will have four keys made. One goes to my mother and I have a key chain for her. Two of the keys will fit securely in my hot pink billfold. One key will go on one of my sneaker key chains that I collected years ago. (I have a bunch. All different colors!) I am getting one of those key things you put on the wall like a picture. I will get some nails and borrow my mother’s hammer and whammo bammo I will put that sucker up at my door!!! And, each time, I come home— there will go my keys!!! My problem has been that when my arms are full of packages like from the grocery store; I seem to lay my keys at the closest place-my bed. This is obviously a recipe for disaster!!! I truly appreciate all of your input. At first, my mother started hammering stuff about being “responsible.” That word always hurts because I really do try. It is just my brain seems to get in the way!!! But, in the afternoon and evening, she has grown a little nicer and was definitely willing to help me and go along with my ideas. Thank Spirit. I will let you tomorrow pm how all this worked out. In a couple of weeks, I’ll let you know how my great plan succeeded. Stay tuned, all of you kind friends! Thank y’all again. This is kind of like the South!

Yeah im kinda useless myself.

I haven’t contributed to the degeneration of society …but I havent really contributed anything for the maintenance of it either

Im kinda like at this HAPPY/UNHAPPY somewhate medium of life.

I know I wrote that I considered myself a useless person, I sincerely and seriously doubt that you are. Times get very dark for me at times and for whatever reason; I think I am useless. However, another voice is in complete and total disagreement? Have you ever seen the movie ,“It’s a Wonderful Life” with Jimmy Stewart? I know they show at Christmas; usually more than once? He wanted to do the very awful thing; but, learned how his life had changed and affected so many others. As I come out of that darkness, I think about that movie and try to think whose and how many people I have changed(helped) just by my existence (my being me) In my very soul, I know you have a tremendous effect on helping to make others’ lives better. You are assisting me now- in the middle of the night-because your very statement reminded me howvery integral each of us is to each other-even in our aloneness like me. Even in our aloneness, we are never alone. Like John Donne wrote; “No man is an island.” Please don’t think you are useless at all. Just by your very existence, you are very useful. You are very useful to me! I was extremely wrong to consider and post that statement. A I come out of these darkness, I know I am not useless and neither are you or anyone else in the universe; including the “animal, plants, rocks, etc” All is useful! All is Alive! All is Spirit! Take care, my dear friend!

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This is update for all the interested persons. I said I would provide you with and I do my best to keep my word. My mother was able to pick up the key from the apt manager’s office. The girl in the office remembered from six months ago when I rented the apt; so, it was no problem! We went to clean out my vehicle at the collision repair place. I had previously written how it had been determined a total loss. Bye Bye dear blue car! She found my spare set of three apt keys lost in the car. I did not have to have any made They, of course, worked! I went to the hardware store and my mother bought me a hammer, a screwdriver, and a wooden key holder to mount on the wall that I would like to paint or something. I haven’t got it put up just yet. I had some sneaker key rings from way back. I fixed the keys and now they are on my table at my bed. I have plans on this matter. I thank all of you all and my therapist, too.

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I am glad you are feeling better now. I agree with you completely. Everyone is useful. Every person on this site helps each other stay grounded in reality, and you all make me feel like I’m not a total freak because of my psychosis. I don’t have anyone else who can relate to me in real life.

Yes, I am feeling much better now. I have my new red Hyundai accent; which I named FIREBIRD! She is very happy and I am happy! You are not or ever have been a total freak because you have experienced psychosis. I am beginning to believe that one of the reasons we suffer from psychosis or any mental illness for that matter is that we have been denied our expression of our unique personality and the discovery and eventual fulfillment of our unique life path. I guess I am tired of being labeled sick or unhealthy because of what I have experienced in my life. I have gotten interested in many things along this reasoning including astrology, CBT, and the Myers-Briggs personality types. All are teaching me something new about myself everyday. Each day, I think I am liking myself better; except, when I see myself in the windows of buildings and in the mirror. Never feel bad that you have experienced psychosis or are experiencing psychosis. You are a very good person and always remember; this, too shall pass. I found out that I am an ISFP in Myers- Briggs. I think it is my adventurous, impulsive, exuberant, free spirit that has caused my parents such consternation. I also get along very well with the “animal” population. I am not ashamed to be an ISFP. I found out that ISFPs do write poetry and I write poetry. I thought that was for INFPs. But, I never felt quite right being designated as an INFP. Now, I feel so very right. Each day, you and I will get so much better. Take care, my friend. Learn who you are and be yourself above all else! .

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Whenever I take that test I get completely different results. I think I went from INTP to ENFJ. It depends on what mood I’m in. And thanks. I do know I’m not a freak, but it’s hard not to feel that way when nobody I know can relate to me. I have very supportive friends, but they just don’t really know what it’s like to experience psychosis. It’s nice that I don’t have to explain everything here, because everyone else has been there and knows what it is really like.