So lack of routine and scheduled activities is not good for me. The first two days after classes ended I was fine, enjoying the relaxation and the ability to just focus on studying. Past that I started slipping…my energy levels seemed to sink even lower than normal…I became unable to focus…it’s gotten worse each day since then. I forced myself to shower and at least change pajamas today. I haven’t changed out of the same pair of pajamas in almost a week. I didn’t leave my bed at all today. When the sun went down I didn’t even have the energy to reach over to turn the light on and sat in the dark for hours until my roommate came in and turned it on. Lying there in the dark I felt absolutely drained of willpower, as though my lifeforce had been sapped from my body. It’s horrible.
My room is an absolute mess and I’m putting off everything, including cleaning my rats’ cage…it’s just bad. I need things to do daily or my will and life and energy just leaks out of me. Can’t wait until I’m done wth finals and I can get out of this metaphorical tar pit.
I was like that when I was on the Haldol shot. I lived with my parents. I worked part time at a pizza delivery operation. All the rest of the time I spent in bed. It was total creature comfort, and total mental hell. That lasted about two years. It was one of the worst times in my life. After I left my parents and went back to school I started taking 40 ephedrine tablets a day. The first thing I would do when I woke up was drink five cups of cold coffee and take 40 ephedrine tablets. Then I would drink five more cups of coffee during the day. The caffeine and the ephedrine did mitigate the effect of the Haldol a little, so during that time I wasn’t too miserable. That time wasn’t too bad. Then I quit taking the ephedrine, and I was miserable again. It was only after they put me on Geodon and Seroquel that I made peace with my medications and felt like I could lead a normal life.
I’ve been a little like this, but it’s not so much a lack of energy as a lack of will. All my hobbies have slid to the side.
I think it’s guilt related? If I don’t do anything I consider a “contribution to society,” it’s really easy for me to lose the will to do the selfish things I want to do, like reading, writing, playing video games, and even healthy stuff like meditation, yoga, and strength training.
My pdoc and therapist are trying to convince me to do that stuff anyway. My therapist says the happier I am, the more energy I’ll have to give to everyone else
My guess is that it is either a problem like depression or maybe you have lost purpose in life. Everybody needs something that makes them get up in the mourning.
I guess it could also be something like low blood sugar or some kind of problem with the body. The existential crisis seems like the cheapest one to solve. How long has this been going on? Maybe it is because you haven’t been getting enough sleep. I know that you have been commenting on that.
Luckily it’s a giant cage so it actually takes a while to get really gross. But you’re right I absolutely have to. I remember some days having to clean their cage was all that got me out of bed. I just want to finish my finals first. I’ll be done by Thursday. Then I’m going on a huge cleaning spree, I’ll drink 10 energy drinks if I have to!!
It’s an issue I’ve been trying to figure out for a long time now. (6 years now??) I highly suspect I may have some sort of sleep disorder…I haven’t been able to get proper testing yet. Even when I get plenty of sleep my energy levels still tend to be drastically low. I’ve gotten blood tests done and I’m not anemic or anything, and my blood sugar is fine.
Yeah I was thinking about whenever I don’t have energy sometimes it is when I don’t get enough sleep. It happens whenever I haven’t had coffee in the mourning.
I have a combination of really low energy because of meds and hypothyroid and lack of purpose. I really need to get it together because I have to volunteer 500 hours over the next year and a half to get into the program I want. It seems like not that much to do; volunteer and go to school, but with my energy levels it won’t be easy. I also used to work out 5 days a week and now I never do. My biggest wish is for pure clean energy and focus so I can volunteer, go to school and exercise. Oh and have better self care. Shower, do my hair and apply make-up more frequently. I was just talking to myself before I logged on here and saying that is what I wanted for Christmas. Energy and Focus
Oh man if I had the same energy I had as a kid things would be wild. I was writing and directing my siblings in plays, inventing entire elaborate games to play with story lines and characters and fantasy worlds, I was teaching myself how to draw, constantly writing stories, acing every class. Those were the days.